This put a smile on my face. For anyone who has taken the time to read something I've written, it's almost like they are a friend who I'm opening my heart and thoughts to. Both the lighthearted and funny kind to the heart-wrenching and agonizing kind. This website has become a part of me, just like Mari was while on this earth and continues to be while in heaven. For some people things they may read may just be words to them. But they are so much more to me. They are a part of my soul. No, … [Read more...]
Day 12: Patience
Let me just say that of all the gifts God has bestowed upon me, patience is not one of them. I might be good at things like scrapbooking, crocheting, cross stitching, computers, and even writing. But I have such a low threshold for being patient. Don't get me wrong, man do I wish it was better. I have come to accept this lack of quality as it is. It is something I have to work on on a day in and day out basis. I remember the day I found out I was pregnant with Mari. It was June 12, 1999, only … [Read more...]
Special Unforgettable Moments
I think we all have those special unforgettable moments in our life. Some heartwarming that just make you smile while others are gut-wrenching heartache. We never know when those moments will happen but when they do you know it. For me one of those moments was the day I found out I was pregnant with Mari. Keith and I have infertility issues. After having many test done and procedures performed we were told that the only way we would be able to have children biologically is to have IVF … [Read more...]
All in a picture
What do you see when you see this little girl? You might first notice her vibrant blue eyes that remind you of the Caribbean. Or maybe it’s her mischievous smile. Or maybe the fact that she looks like a perfect healthy typically little girl. You can’t see that she has autism or the fact that in just three weeks she will have died from contract E. coli and what it did to her little body. I look at this picture and see the vibrance she always had. She was such a happy little girl. Always … [Read more...]
Sitting here thinking
I sit here staring at my precious baby girl’s slide show on this very site. There are so many of her from all different ages. From when she had longer hair to when we finally cut it short so she’d quite using her hair as a chewing device. The little smile that stares back at you cuts right into my soul. It is something I miss all the time. I haven’t just looked at the pictures in a while and tonight I posted something on the site and then sat there staring at the slide show remember all the … [Read more...]
Savoring every moment
In life we have a tendency to go full steam ahead as we are all in such a hurry. We microwave our dinner or go to a fast food restaurant because it is quicker. We create our speedy checkout option on a website so we just have one click to checkout and we are done. We have our keyless remotes to get into our cars so we don’t have to pull out our keys to open the car door or pop open the trunk. The bottom line is we try so hard to make things go quicker so we can have what will feel like more time … [Read more...]
Just sitting here thinking…
I was sitting here thinking on my way home from work today how I don’t write as I used to. Here recently it has all been about either writing Mari’s book or now attempting my first hand at writing something fiction. However, I have been really thinking about Mari here recently as her three year mark approaches. It is hard to believe that it has been almost three years. It still doesn’t seem possible. Mari will always continue to live on in my heart. I hope through her story she will also … [Read more...]
Mari’s book
Yesterday while at church, a lady from my Sunday School class announced something very special. She said she was going to hosting a Tastefully Simple (or is Simply Tasteful) party or something like that. I know that she plans on selling the goodies to members at our church. Then she announced that all proceeds would be going towards costs to get Mari’s book edited. To say I was shocked doesn’t even quite describe it. I am ever so grateful she came up with this idea and others are willing … [Read more...]
He’s back…
Keith got home last night after being gone for the last week on a business trip. I really missed him. Our dogs really missed him too. They like to act all goofy and nuts after he has been gone for any length of time. To be honest, they drive us crazy, especially our female boxer. Even though they drive you nuts you love them anyway. There is only one week (technically 6 days now) till our 17 year anniversary. It’s hard to believe it is already that close. Before you know it, you blink … [Read more...]
Singing…
January 2 I sit here in church service. Right away they start by singing. The tears start to well up and I have to leave. I still have a hard time just being able to sing in church. It is so hard for me. Somehow it just makes me miss Mari all the more. She would always love the singing portion of church service. She would sing in her own special way. She would sometimes flap her arms in excitement. She truly loved the singing. I think I just truly miss that with her not here … [Read more...]
