(While the following post is much longer than normal at almost 2,000 words, please read the entire thing. I reveal some very person things going on in my life at the time. Thank you.) Today is November 6, 2015 and I am on week 4 day 1 of the study guide. During my quiet time, I talk about some very personal stuff but just how much God has been working in my life. When we think of the Bible, it's like the ultimate guide book. It shows us the kind of person we should strive to be. How to act … [Read more...]
Miraculous Breakthroughs (they really do happen)
I did week 3 day 5 of the study guide back on November 5, 2015. This was a huge break-through day for myself as I discovered some things God was showing me. I literally snapped out of a very depressive state. It was one of the greatest feelings I've been through and grateful the Holy Spirit worked through me the way He did that day. Now I'm going to share it with you what I wrote that day. We are asked to turn back to Psalm 68:5-10 for week 3 day 5, only we’re going to use another study … [Read more...]
How to Combat Overwhelming Sadness
I feel like I've been one of the most unmotivated people to write anything in the last year or so. It's like the zeal for it has all dried up. The hard part is I can't explain why. This makes me sad because when I do write I'm able to express myself in a way I can't do very well verbally. I think others get who I am better because they can see a piece of me with what I share. On April 11 I began to do my personal quiet time again after having had an extended absence away from it. The good … [Read more...]
Knowing when a joke isn’t funny
I think back to the last time I wrote something on here and it was for Mari's 14th birthday back in December. In only two and a half short months my life permanently changed seven years ago. July will always hold a place in my life of sadness. However, at least I have hope because I know through the life, death and resurrection of Jesus that I will get to see her again one day. I feel blessed that I am a believer because then I know I will get to see her again once I join her in … [Read more...]
G is for giving
As you can't help giving your heart to Mari as she enters it for good. It never seemed to amaze me how captivating our daughter was. Here laughter could draw in almost anyone. It was infectious. I loved when she was sitting in her high chair eating and out of the blue she would start to giggle. You looked at where you thought she was but there wasn't anything there. She sort of had this far off look. She had escaped into Mari's world. I can imagine what her world was like as she was … [Read more...]
Special Unforgettable Moments
I think we all have those special unforgettable moments in our life. Some heartwarming that just make you smile while others are gut-wrenching heartache. We never know when those moments will happen but when they do you know it. For me one of those moments was the day I found out I was pregnant with Mari. Keith and I have infertility issues. After having many test done and procedures performed we were told that the only way we would be able to have children biologically is to have IVF … [Read more...]
“Oh that won’t happen to me”
I think there is an old saying that when something happens to others we always say something like, “I’m so sorry it happened to them but thank goodness it didn't happen to me. We’re human and selfish by nature. I think it is natural that we think this way because no one in their right mind would actually say, “Oh I wish it had been me,” when something terrible happens. I know every one of those parents from yesterday who were able to bring their little ones home were so thankful their kids … [Read more...]
It’s been 4 years…
The month of July can mean so many different things to so many different people. The first thing that comes to mind for most Americans is our Independence Day. On July 4, 1776, we truly became an independent nation. There have been many struggles, hardships, good times and excitement but it is on this day that we celebrate our independence as a nation for the freedoms that have been given to us. For some this month is the end of Summer break as so many get ready to start a new school year … [Read more...]
The “Softening”
In a month, Mari will have been gone for four years. I have talked several times over the last four years in how the day she died is not an anniversary as this signifies happiness to me. My eighteen year wedding anniversary was this past February. That is a happy time. Mari’s death, anything but. However, I have come to call it the mark. When Mari died I became wrapped up in the utter sorrow and sadness of it all. My heart felt like it had been ripped open and a gaping would left in its … [Read more...]
Hitting “The Mark”
I went and visited a website of someone I knew in our grief group back in Chicago today. The reason I visited it was because on the old blogger site I had started this one on (which is technically still up and running, don’t ask me why, it does redirect people to here however :) ) I have this woman’s website listed under Blogs of Importance. Under the listing, it shows a title of the most recent blog post. This one was labeled, “Letting go.” I thought that meant she was letting go of her … [Read more...]
