It’s always interesting to meet someone new. You don’t know what type of person s/he is. You don’t know what to expect from him/her. You don’t know how s/he will react to different situations. In a way, getting to know this new person is like solving a mystery. Will you like this person? Do you have the same ideals? Do you have the same beliefs? And the list just goes on and on. Ultimately, curiosity kills the cat and we must find out more about this person. Do you want to get to know … [Read more...]
Then it hits ya
Since moving to Kentucky, I fell in love with a program on the Style Channel. The program is called Clean House. If you've never seen it before, they take people who are clutter fanatics (and man there are some that are so nasty) and help them clean out the clutter, sell the stuff in a yard sale, and then give them a makeover in the rooms they cleared out. Well, they have a couple of shows that came from the original called Clean House: Search for the Messiest House in the Country and Clean … [Read more...]
Iris and Kristena
I sit here watching Mr. Holland’s Opus. I think this is one of those movies that just touches you to the depths of your soul. It has true meaning instead of what a lot of these movies out there today seem to lack. I think if you've seen this movie it's touched you in some way. I haven't really watched this movie in several years. As a matter of fact I don't remember the last time I watched it. It's a simple movie about a man named Glenn, or Mr. Holland, who had a dream and did teaching to … [Read more...]
Talking from the heart…
Today I sit here thinking about how life can turn out so differently than you could have expected. Keith and I went to church this morning like we have started to do on a more regular basis since the Sunday before Thanksgiving. We decided to just try Sunday School since I haven't been able to handle going to church service at that point. That very first Sunday going to our brand new class I broke down and told everyone about Mari. It's the Sunday before Thanksgiving so you can imagine what … [Read more...]
Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving is a day where families and loved ones come together to spend time with one another. It’s a day I don't look forward to. I used to love this time of year. When anyone first arrives, everyone wishes them a Happy Thanksgiving. Most are genuine while some it’s just what you are supposed to say this day. Like last year, I will nod my head in acknowledgement but I won’t say it back. I feel that saying “it” would be ingenue on my part and why say something you really don’t mean. Please … [Read more...]
Thinking about Mari
I was sitting here tonight thinking about Mari. Keith and I went to a new grief support group specifically for parents who have lost a child they were still raising, so the child they lost were under eighteen for the most part. It was nice to go to a group that for the first time truly understood what it was like to lose a child well before their time. Most of the children seemed to have died from a disease like cancer or a sudden death. Mari’s is still hard for me to classify as it wasn't … [Read more...]
A Mother’s Love Never Fades
Life’s been a fog, a fuzzy, sad haze As one year has come, a moment we dread What in life can bring so much sadness With lots of tears and feeling so empty It’s a mother’s love and the loss of her child The one that she bore and then buried 8 short years later When her child was born, she had so much hope Her child became part of her everything, making her life finally complete Yet the child had autism, which changes her hopes and dreams They included so many things, but a mother’s … [Read more...]
How am I supposed to live my life without her?
How am I supposed to live my life without her? How am I supposed to? I sit here in complete confusion as to how to do this. Nothing makes sense anymore. I don’t understand. I just simply don’t understand. Mari is gone and yet I'm still here. Mari is gone and yet I'm just supposed to move on with my life. But Mari is gone. There isn't an instruction manual on how to move on with your life once your one and only child is gone from it. I just don’t know how. I wish there was some tried and true … [Read more...]
Loneliness
Today is a day of utter loneliness. I can’t explain it. All I want to do is just sit here and cry. I'm at home all alone. I really don’t feel like talking to anyone, yet I wish someone was here. Keith is at work. Those that I do call are either not answering their phones or they're out and about running errands. I know it's not anyone’s job to keep me company or help me to feel better. I just wish I didn't feel so lonely. The loneliness goes clear to the very bottom of my heart, the depths of my … [Read more...]
