I've created something I like to call my "Daily Priorities Notebook". At first, I did it in a 3-subject, 120 sheet, college ruled, spiral bound notebook. The original idea started back in February 2016. The first day I did it was on February 29. I did it everyday until March 10, then missed three days, did it one more time on March 14, and then I stopped for a while. I picked it up again on my birthday last year (August 2, 2016) and only did it until August 9. On August 10 I got a weird … [Read more...]
Knowing when a joke isn’t funny
I think back to the last time I wrote something on here and it was for Mari's 14th birthday back in December. In only two and a half short months my life permanently changed seven years ago. July will always hold a place in my life of sadness. However, at least I have hope because I know through the life, death and resurrection of Jesus that I will get to see her again one day. I feel blessed that I am a believer because then I know I will get to see her again once I join her in … [Read more...]
Happy Birthday Mariana. You’re 15 Today (or you would’ve been :( ) #acfw #lossofchild
I think back to 15 years ago today and my world was about to permanently change. Right now it’s 10:15 a.m., Alaskan time, but in the Chicago area it’s one fifteen in the afternoon. At this point, the doctor had started the Pitocin and I was about three hours into delivering Mariana. I was a little less than six hours away from giving birth to her. She took us from being a two to a three. Our little miracle was coming into the world. Little did we know that only eight-and-a-half short years later … [Read more...]
Was or Is?
I sit here thinking of Mari today. Time is moving one step at a time closer to the six year mark for Mari being gone. Can you believe it’s been six years already? I think back on all the times I wrote about time after she passed, especially that first year or so. The fact is that time continued its ever present trek forward no matter how much we’d rather have had it go backward for either more time with our little girl or for us to somehow change the outcome. Yet, we all know that’s not … [Read more...]
U is for Unique #atozchallenge
A uniquely different kind of girl. Mari had one of those personality that sticks with you. If you'd met her, you remember her for the spunky little thing that she was. She rarely got upset but when she did you heard about it. She'd be playing with a toy and every seemed to be going fine when all of a sudden she'd scream at whatever it was she was playing with or doing, then either throw it or destroy whatever it was she was making. I know so many children who have autism have meltdowns on a … [Read more...]
Been a little absent
I'm sure those of you who have been following me here have noticed I went silent over the month of December. Most might think it was because of the holidays and in particularly Christmas. The thing is, I was looking forward to Christmas; however, Mari's birthday was December 29 and she would have turned fourteen. Man, fourteen years have come and gone since I gave birth to my precious little girl. Fourteen years. I still remember how difficult my pregnancy had been. How giving birth to her had … [Read more...]
Happy Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving. It's a time of year where families gather round their tables to eat a big feast of turkey, ham, yams, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, apple pie, pumpkin pie, or whatever family tradition yours might have. But before you eat, many families will go around the table and say what they are thankful for over the past year. Five years ago on this very day I remember how hard it was for me on that first Thanksgiving with Mari gone. (Click here to view the post from … [Read more...]
Joining the Army in High School
When I was 17 and a Junior in high school, an announcement during my 2nd period class one day said that a U.S. Army recruiter would be in the counseling area at lunch if anyone was interested in talking to him. For some, reason it did. Now you might be asking why. I have no earthly idea. Had I ever thought about joining the army before that day? Not once. Never crossed my mind. So at lunchtime I went and talked to the guy. Within a couple of weeks I had signed up on April 19, 1991. That day … [Read more...]
Live for Today
What if you could do things in your life that would enable you to live longer. Would you do it? I don't think I would. I say this because I know that God already has a plan for my life so no matter what I do or don't do He will take me home when it's my time. That day will be a glorious day as I'm reunited with my daughter, Granny and Grandpa. None of know the exact time and place our time will end. However, we need to live our lives as though it were our last day. I think of the song by … [Read more...]
What if money were no object
That isn't a hard one. I know there are the typical answers like traveling the world, or buying your dream house or car (or both :) ). But that is more materialistic than what I'd want to do. First, I'd want to start the scholarship program in my daughter's memory. For those of you who don't know me very well, my daughter had severe classic autism. And finding good teachers who not only want to teach but want to teach child with autism and also have the patience to do it at the same time are … [Read more...]
