I sit here in our car driving. Today is December 29th. For most people it is just an average day. For some it even brings the special privilege of being their birthday.
This day has always brought about special memories for us. However now it just brings sadness and tears to my eyes.
Today Mari would have turned 11.
I was getting so frustrated with drivers and yelling at them over stupid stuff. Then the tears just started to come down. I had to pull over with the ache that is there in my heart.
I miss you so much baby girl. I have a whole in my heart that once held you here while you were here with us on this earth.
This year seems to be harder than the last two. The only hope I can hold to is that someday in the future it will just not be as hard.
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I should be giving her birthday presents instead of bringing her flowers to her grave.
Love you, Kristina – you continue in my prayers – there is always a hole in our hearts – but with God’s healing it is healed and used by Him to touch the lives of others, just as you are doing with your honest blog. We can feel your grief and are reminded to pray, not just for you, but for the others we know who do not know how to be as transparent as you! Since Nov, 2009, we have lost two adult nephews, both in tragic ways. Your honesty and transparency reminds me again of how those first years feel. It reminds me to pray for them, as well as for you and for the countless others who have experienced the loss of a child. Thank you for sharing your tears!