Have you ever wondered if something really existed or was it just in your mind?  Something that seemed to be so real but then one day you wake up and it’s like it never was?  That’s how I kind of feel sometimes.

My new computer has Windows 7 and one of the new features with this operating system is how you can set up your computer’s desktop.  I decided to have mine kind of like a slideshow.  A new picture gets displayed every ten minutes.  All of the ones I have chosen are of Mari.

Well, one of the ones that came up today, I was looking at it.  It’s hard to believe how she’s just not here anymore.  It almost feels like she was only a figment of my imagination.  Or it’s like is she really gone?  It just doesn’t seem real sometimes.

But in the end she really is.  The emptiness is still there.  There’ll always be this empty spot in my heart where she used to fill it.  It’ll remain empty because she can never come back.  It’s like there is this missing void.

I know as time continues on the emptiness will become smaller and smaller to the point of barely noticing it.  The point is it’ll always remain and in those rare instances rear its head to show me that that spot she once held is no longer filled.

In the end everything will be as it is intended.  No, I have no clue what that is yet, but that is what time is for.

I love you baby girl and mommy misses you so much.

Love Mommy