December 22 Today ended up starting as a good day. I felt good about it. I went to work like I normally do. I was putting away my freight and I had these Justin Bieber backpacks I was putting out. As I am putting them out I start to think of my dearest friend Shelly’s daughter Lexi. Shelly tells me how much Lexi loves Justin Bieber. Then I got to thinking about how Mari would be the same age as Lexi. Not that Mari would have ever gotten into Just Bieber or anything. It’s just the … [Read more...]
Tangible Things
The only thing tangible left are pictures (and a couple of videos) taken of Mari from the time she was born until the day she died (literally). We have them of her while she was in the hospital when she was first born and we have them of her in the hospital when she was dying. It’s almost like it represents the cycle of life everyone goes through. We all are born and we all must die someday when our time is up on this earth. But with Mari, her time just seemed so short. It seems like that … [Read more...]
July Sucks!
You might be asking, "But why does July suck?" I mean, after all, July has so many good things about it right? Like the 4th of July and celebrating our nation's birthday. The fireworks you can either do together with family, friends and acquaintances or to go see one of those big fireworks shows that the cities or military installations put on for us. It's summertime. It's warm. People are going on vacations. Everyone seems to be having fun (or at least trying to ;;) ). There are places to go … [Read more...]
The Start of a New Day
Today is the start of a new day. It’s a day I have not had to do in many years (eight, almost nine, years to be precise). It’s a day I have not been ready for before now. In the past it would have been a day I dreaded but now I am really looking forward to it. It’s a day where I take the first step, of what I am sure are going to be many, in getting a job on post (Fort Knox). Before Mari died, as most of you know by now I was a stay at home mom taking caring of our one and only child. … [Read more...]
Julie and Sylvia
Sylvia, I want you to know how much of a dear friend you have become to me. I mean, don't get me wrong, you were such a help to Keith and I when we were still living in DeKalb. Every Sunday morning you enabled us to be able to attend church service while you were taking care of our beloved angel during children’s church. You enabled her to participate and be around other kids her own age. You have such a gift and you were a God send as you have the speech background that could ultimately … [Read more...]
It Happens At the Strangest Time
I am sure you all can imagine that Mari is never really far from my mind. Today is no different. Most of you know by now that I have started working out again. I set my alarm for 5am this morning (yeah, that is the correct time) so I could be to the gym by 6:30am for my very first personal training session. My personal trainer is Jennifer. Man she kicked my booty this morning. So much so that she cut our session 7 minutes early as my body was completely worn out (man am I out of … [Read more...]
Moving Time…
Well, the move is finally done. They packed up our house last month on the 14th, moved it out on the 15th, left for Kentucky on the 19th, ended up having an abscessed tooth from a root-canal from over four or five years ago, had oral surgery on the 22nd, finally started looking for places to live on the 23rd, found a place to rent on the 28th and put deposit down, signed a new lease on May 3, transportation delivered our stuff on the 6th, had massive asthma attack in middle of night on the 6th … [Read more...]
Talking from the heart…
Today I sit here thinking about how life can turn out so differently than you could have expected. Keith and I went to church this morning like we have started to do on a more regular basis since the Sunday before Thanksgiving. We decided to just try Sunday School since I haven't been able to handle going to church service at that point. That very first Sunday going to our brand new class I broke down and told everyone about Mari. It's the Sunday before Thanksgiving so you can imagine what … [Read more...]
T’was the Night Before Our Lives Changed
T’was the night before our lives changed, forever in our house, No one could have known, not even a mouse. For our hopes hung in the balance with all human care, In the hopes that our prayers would be answered right there. The people who loved her went off to their beds, While they laid there and slept or prayed in their heads. And daddy had his hope, and mommy had her fears, Because the next morning might bring about our tears. We arose the next morning to hear so much clatter, As … [Read more...]
A Mother’s Love Never Fades
Life’s been a fog, a fuzzy, sad haze As one year has come, a moment we dread What in life can bring so much sadness With lots of tears and feeling so empty It’s a mother’s love and the loss of her child The one that she bore and then buried 8 short years later When her child was born, she had so much hope Her child became part of her everything, making her life finally complete Yet the child had autism, which changes her hopes and dreams They included so many things, but a mother’s … [Read more...]
