(While the following post is much longer than normal at almost 2,000 words, please read the entire thing. I reveal some very person things going on in my life at the time. Thank you.) Today is November 6, 2015 and I am on week 4 day 1 of the study guide. During my quiet time, I talk about some very personal stuff but just how much God has been working in my life. When we think of the Bible, it's like the ultimate guide book. It shows us the kind of person we should strive to be. How to act … [Read more...]
Miraculous Breakthroughs (they really do happen)
I did week 3 day 5 of the study guide back on November 5, 2015. This was a huge break-through day for myself as I discovered some things God was showing me. I literally snapped out of a very depressive state. It was one of the greatest feelings I've been through and grateful the Holy Spirit worked through me the way He did that day. Now I'm going to share it with you what I wrote that day. We are asked to turn back to Psalm 68:5-10 for week 3 day 5, only we’re going to use another study … [Read more...]
How to Combat Overwhelming Sadness
I feel like I've been one of the most unmotivated people to write anything in the last year or so. It's like the zeal for it has all dried up. The hard part is I can't explain why. This makes me sad because when I do write I'm able to express myself in a way I can't do very well verbally. I think others get who I am better because they can see a piece of me with what I share. On April 11 I began to do my personal quiet time again after having had an extended absence away from it. The good … [Read more...]
How Do I Get My Priorities Straight?
I've created something I like to call my "Daily Priorities Notebook". At first, I did it in a 3-subject, 120 sheet, college ruled, spiral bound notebook. The original idea started back in February 2016. The first day I did it was on February 29. I did it everyday until March 10, then missed three days, did it one more time on March 14, and then I stopped for a while. I picked it up again on my birthday last year (August 2, 2016) and only did it until August 9. On August 10 I got a weird … [Read more...]
Did You Know I’m a S.H.E.?
By the title alone you have to be saying to yourself, "Well, yeah, of course you're a she." But if you look a little further, and maybe you already have, you'll notice that it's not actually the word 'she'. It's an acronym from a book I read recently (actually my mom introduced me to the book years ago, but I never actually read it). The book is called Sidetracked Home Executives, hence the acronym S.H.E. For those of you who don't know, I didn't exactly grow up in a house that was clean. … [Read more...]
Going through Mari’s stuff
Over the last couple of weeks I’ve started going through Mari’s stuff. I still remember the day we went into the house we’d been renting and sat there packing up every single item that either was Mari’s or we needed for her. Nothing got thrown away. Even her juice cups and light switch covers all got saved. At that point, Mari may have been gone about two to two-and-a-half months. I felt like if I threw something away belonging to her, somehow it’s like I was throwing her away. My grief wouldn’t … [Read more...]
Day 156: Gratitude
In life there are so many things that can bring us down. The loss of a job. A house being foreclosed on. A spouse who’s had an affair. The loss of a parent; a spouse; a son or daughter. The list could go on with all the things that make us sad and miserable. However, it’s what we do when these things happen that matters most. When Mari died it would have been so very easy to curl up into a ball and just wither away as the pain was so acute and utterly deep. I’d cry out of the blue for what … [Read more...]
Day 146: The Sliver of Ice
As writers, we tend to write about what we know. We take things that happen in our own lives and somehow use them in what we write. for myself, this is true in that I'm able to take all of the good and the sad, tragic, hurtful or a combo of them and use them to develop my writing that much further. When I was writing Mari's memoir, I took the very updates I wrote when she was alive and I have used those as my notes for her memoir. When those were written, they were fresh. Many of my memories … [Read more...]
Day 145: Talent
I love this quote: "Lots of people have talent, darlin'. But look how many people throw it away. It boils down to this: having talent is not enough. You also have to have a talent for having talent." - Ruth Gordon There are so many people whom we come into contact throughout our life time that can have unbelievable talent but they either have no interest in pursuing that talent or simply don't have the drive. My brother comes to mind with this. My brother has a learning disability called … [Read more...]
Day 130: Paying Attention
When I write about Mari, I’m paying attention to my internal thoughts and feelings that I have at the time. She will be at the forefront as I write out the words on the screen. For me, it’s about know that I’m being truthful about what I’m feeling at the time. It helps me to grieve for her and heal at the same time. Sometimes it’s when I’m feeling sad and really missing her and other times it’s about the happy memories I have of her. I know that all of this requires me to pay attention to my … [Read more...]
