Wow! 2020 is here. 2019 seemed to just fly by. I just looked back at the last post I did, and it was clear back on March 21, 2019. My desire to write has been non-existent. While I think about it quite often, I just never do it. I'm not sure why. After Mari died, I wrote all the time. It felt like I constantly had things I needed to jot down and write out to express how I was feeling. Now, Mari's been gone over 11 years. As a matter of fact, she would've turned 20 on December 29, just three … [Read more...]
Living Hope
A couple of days ago I shared how I've been internally struggling with a lot of self-loathing and simply not feeling good enough. While the struggle is still ongoing, it's my daily quiet time that helps more than anything else, or for that matter, anyone else, to stay as grounded as possible. Some days I fully outright fail. These are days filled with many tears and the inability to see myself in a positive way. Yet, I guess the positive I need to remember to take away is in those moments where … [Read more...]
Sharing My Struggle
I'm sitting here at my keyboard trying to figure out how to start this very post, yet I can't think of a "fancy" way to do it. So here it goes... I've not shared with very many people the struggles I've been going through for several months now. While I won't go into details, there have been a lot emotionally trying things happening in our home to where I've been really down and my self-loathing is in full swing. I can easily get to a place where I'm beating myself up, saying how stupid I am; … [Read more...]
Where to Get the Ultimate Guide Book
(While the following post is much longer than normal at almost 2,000 words, please read the entire thing. I reveal some very person things going on in my life at the time. Thank you.) Today is November 6, 2015 and I am on week 4 day 1 of the study guide. During my quiet time, I talk about some very personal stuff but just how much God has been working in my life. When we think of the Bible, it's like the ultimate guide book. It shows us the kind of person we should strive to be. How to act … [Read more...]
Are You a Good Host?
Wow, I had decided I would continue to post some of what I wrote when I first did Jen Hatmaker's study guide in the back of her book A Modern Girl's Guide to Bible Study. I was trying to find the post I'd started but the draft has disappeared for some reason. As I was scrolling through all my posts, I saw a bunch of drafts. So I decided to open them all up and saw that I'd already typed up about 5 days worth of quiet times from when I did it over a year and a half ago. I figured I might as well … [Read more...]
How to Combat Overwhelming Sadness
I feel like I've been one of the most unmotivated people to write anything in the last year or so. It's like the zeal for it has all dried up. The hard part is I can't explain why. This makes me sad because when I do write I'm able to express myself in a way I can't do very well verbally. I think others get who I am better because they can see a piece of me with what I share. On April 11 I began to do my personal quiet time again after having had an extended absence away from it. The good … [Read more...]
How Do I Get My Priorities Straight?
I've created something I like to call my "Daily Priorities Notebook". At first, I did it in a 3-subject, 120 sheet, college ruled, spiral bound notebook. The original idea started back in February 2016. The first day I did it was on February 29. I did it everyday until March 10, then missed three days, did it one more time on March 14, and then I stopped for a while. I picked it up again on my birthday last year (August 2, 2016) and only did it until August 9. On August 10 I got a weird … [Read more...]
