Switchbacks up the mountain can mean so many things. I think life in general is a continue road we travel up and down mountain. Sometimes the mountain is more of an easy hill that we climb and where life seems to move forward at a nice pace. But then there are those times where the road going up the mountain is so narrow and steep we feel we might fall off the edge plummeting to the ground below. I know that first year after Mari died my life felt more like the later. It felt like at any time … [Read more...]
Writing Mari’s story
Today has been an interesting day as I try to take "Her Hospital Story" and make it into a full length book. I came to a section where it kind of stumped me as to how I really should write it. I have so many things that I feel are so important to make sure they are included in this story to get it right. Probably the most important is the emotional aspect. I want the reader to be able to feel how I felt during this time. And to do this requires that I tap into those emotions from that time … [Read more...]
A Mother’s Love
A mother's love is a very beautiful emotion and something so incredibly special. I was just thinking last night how every person in the world living and breathing today has a mother and father somewhere whether they are alive or dead. However, not everyone has a child or ever will. It is a very special bond between parent and child. It is different for a mother with her children and a father with his children. God intended it this way for a reason. I know when it comes to our daughter that … [Read more...]
Changes in life…
First let me start off by saying long time no talk. I am sorry I have been gone for a while. A lot has happened in my life since the last time I posted anything on Mari’s website. I look back at the date of June 23 and it seems like a lifetime ago. On July 15 Keith and I headed to Chicago to be with Mari (so to speak) on her 3 year mark of being gone. July 16 was officially 3 years and we spent some time at her grave. It is hard to believe that 3 years have already come and gone but they … [Read more...]
Unchoices
When life gets hard, what should you do? Everyone is different and everyone handles their problems in different ways. For the most part, our lives involve different paths and the choices we make to get there. Some choices come by easily and others are difficult to almost impossible to have to make. And then there are the things that happen in our lives that can be called the unchoices. So what exactly is an unchoice you might be asking? Well, this is when something either happens to you … [Read more...]
Sitting here thinking…
I sit here thinking about Mari. I think I always think about her just sometimes more than others. But right now I am really missing her. I was talking to my dad a couple of days ago. His cell decided to call me out of the blue. When I answered all you could hear in the background was rustling around. So you knew right then that he did not call and the cell phone had a mind of its own. So I called him back just in case. He said that he must of accidently pushed the speed dial button … [Read more...]
The Start of a New Day
Today is the start of a new day. It’s a day I have not had to do in many years (eight, almost nine, years to be precise). It’s a day I have not been ready for before now. In the past it would have been a day I dreaded but now I am really looking forward to it. It’s a day where I take the first step, of what I am sure are going to be many, in getting a job on post (Fort Knox). Before Mari died, as most of you know by now I was a stay at home mom taking caring of our one and only child. … [Read more...]
When life throws you a curve ball (man, all I wanted was a fast one :) )
All I can say is, “Boy what a night last night.” Keith and I typically go to bed, what might seem for most people, rather late. It seems like if we are starting to get ready for bed by 11 o’clock or midnight that it is an early night for us. We both are such night owls as we usually are going to bed around 1 or 2 in the morning and sometimes even later. Well, last night did not start off as a good night once we got upstairs and settling down for the night. As it was, I was very tired. … [Read more...]
Strength…
Strength: Where does it come from? Everyone always wants to tell me how strong I am for how I am today with dealing with the death of Mari. And I used to think the same thing when I saw a parent and how they were dealing with the death of a child. I would think to myself how incredibly strong that person must be to be dealing with the loss. The strength they have inside themselves must be so incredibly strong to be able to get through this incredibly hard time. I know I could never be that … [Read more...]
Mari’s Dress
I’ve spent the day trying to unpack the spare bedroom/office area. It's such time consuming work. Once in a while I run into something that was Mari’s. For the most part, all of her stuff was packed away and is in the storage unit we rented as our place is just too small to hold all of our stuff until we get on-post housing. I was going through one of the boxes we'd packed back up after the movers just half-assed put our stuff everywhere and was a big mess. As I was going through this box, … [Read more...]
