You might be asking, "But why does July suck?" I mean, after all, July has so many good things about it right? Like the 4th of July and celebrating our nation's birthday. The fireworks you can either do together with family, friends and acquaintances or to go see one of those big fireworks shows that the cities or military installations put on for us. It's summertime. It's warm. People are going on vacations. Everyone seems to be having fun (or at least trying to ;;) ). There are places to go … [Read more...]
The Start of a New Day
Today is the start of a new day. It’s a day I have not had to do in many years (eight, almost nine, years to be precise). It’s a day I have not been ready for before now. In the past it would have been a day I dreaded but now I am really looking forward to it. It’s a day where I take the first step, of what I am sure are going to be many, in getting a job on post (Fort Knox). Before Mari died, as most of you know by now I was a stay at home mom taking caring of our one and only child. … [Read more...]
When life throws you a curve ball (man, all I wanted was a fast one :) )
All I can say is, “Boy what a night last night.” Keith and I typically go to bed, what might seem for most people, rather late. It seems like if we are starting to get ready for bed by 11 o’clock or midnight that it is an early night for us. We both are such night owls as we usually are going to bed around 1 or 2 in the morning and sometimes even later. Well, last night did not start off as a good night once we got upstairs and settling down for the night. As it was, I was very tired. … [Read more...]
How quickly time flies before we realize…
As most of you know, and those of you who are new and don't, I have moving my website to a new server and creating a new site for better utilization and personalization. In doing this, I have been going through each and every post I have ever posted and reorganizing everything. I am better organizing categories to help people find a post they might be interested in. I have now included tags for every post. So far I am to the end of the year 2008. I still have all of 2009 and what has been … [Read more...]
Do you have any kids?
It is interesting. Most people don’t even think about it but when you first meet someone and he or she says they are married, it seems like one of the very first questions anyone asks is, “Do you have any kids?” I was just sitting here this evening and it struck me on a funny chord. No not “funny ha ha” but “funny ironic.” I think it is our natural curiosity that wants to know just a little bit more about the person you have just met. It is the last thing on anyone’s mind when they ask this … [Read more...]
It Happens At the Strangest Time
I am sure you all can imagine that Mari is never really far from my mind. Today is no different. Most of you know by now that I have started working out again. I set my alarm for 5am this morning (yeah, that is the correct time) so I could be to the gym by 6:30am for my very first personal training session. My personal trainer is Jennifer. Man she kicked my booty this morning. So much so that she cut our session 7 minutes early as my body was completely worn out (man am I out of … [Read more...]
Strength…
Strength: Where does it come from? Everyone always wants to tell me how strong I am for how I am today with dealing with the death of Mari. And I used to think the same thing when I saw a parent and how they were dealing with the death of a child. I would think to myself how incredibly strong that person must be to be dealing with the loss. The strength they have inside themselves must be so incredibly strong to be able to get through this incredibly hard time. I know I could never be that … [Read more...]
Changes
I sit here in our car as Keith and I are driving to DeKalb one last time before we move to Kentucky. I have nothing to write on at the moment so I took some brown napkins from my glove compartment to use instead (I guess they're not just for wiping your hands off after all). Many things are happening right now in our lives. Many good-byes. The other day we attended our last Parent-only grief group. It was definitely bitter-sweet. I can say without hesitation that this group is beyond … [Read more...]
That Hideous Doctrine by John Thomas
I wanted to share this with everyone. It was given to me while my husband and I were taking Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University at our church over two years ago. I just recently found my copy of it and wanted to share it with all of you. From Moody Monthly/September 1985 That hideous doctrine of hell is fading. How often have you thought of it in the past month, for instance? Does it make a difference in your concern for others, in your witness? Is it a constant and proper … [Read more...]
Time Keeps on Treking
It seems as though time continues to trek on. Time is a never-ending cycle of both grief and happiness all rolled into one. A little over a year ago I lost the one thing most precious to me and that was my baby girl, Mariana. Mari is always thought about and missed. For anyone who was fortunate enough to meet her their lives were forever imprinted and changed to have known her. She had such a special spirit about her. She had an infectious laugh where sometimes she would just start laughing … [Read more...]
