This poem was first introduced to me by a friend. He created the dedication video of Mari's pictures that were put to music and then at the end he had a neat surprise for us. He had his daughter say this poem at the end of the show with Mari's' picture there. His daughter was going to read the poem at her funeral but it was just too hard for her to do because the reality was a little girl about her age had died and just too much for her. So her daddy read the poem. This poem meant so much to me … [Read more...]
What if I could have what I wanted
What would tomorrow bring if life could be the way we want it. First, Mari would be here. She would never have gotten sick to begin with. She would have stayed perfectly healthy. She would be laughing, and playing, and simply being Mari. She would watch one of her favorite shows or one of her favorite movies and then start to flap her arms in excitement because she is just so darn excited she doesn’t know what to do with herself. She would still be here to let us know when she is hungry … [Read more...]
Today…
Today is a day I have been dreading Today is a day that sucks Today is a day that I wish had never come Today is just hard Today is just painful Today makes me think too much Today makes me relive the past I wish I could go back somehow I wish I could go back any way possible I wish there was a time machine to take me back I wish there was a way I just simply wish Today is a day that makes me sad Today is a day that makes me cry Today is a day that brings deep sorrow Today is … [Read more...]
The holidays…
Everyone talks about how the holidays are so hard that first year. I can honestly say that you just do not even look forward to them what so ever. Thanksgiving is literally right around the corner; only three days away. When I think of Thanksgiving I always think about how you are supposed to be thankful for what has happened in your life in the last year. I am sure there are things that I should be thankful for in the last year but they are so overshadowed by the obvious. How can I be … [Read more...]
4 Months…
It’s been 4 months since the loss of our beloved baby girl. 4 MONTHS!!! How can that be? It does not seem possible that just 4 short months ago we had made a decision to permanently take our daughter off of life support and let her go. Who would have ever thought that something in this life could ever be THIS hard. No one can ever imagine what it is like because we are not capable. As parents, it would drive us nuts. It would hurt everyday over something that probably will never even happen to … [Read more...]
Communication, How Hard Is It Really?
I wish I understood the secret to good communication. It does not matter whether it is verbal communication, silent communication, or through someone’s body language. In marriage it is vital. Without good communication you basically have nothing. You basically have a lifeless marriage. The only way a marriage will survive is through good communication. When you are grieving for the loss of your daughter you find out just how hard it can become to communicate between a husband and wife when … [Read more...]
Mari’s Spirit
I sit here looking at Mari’s picture. I see her school picture from last October. It has only been a little over a year since her last fall school picture. I still have most of our pictures that had been up on the wall in our other house still in boxes from the move but her school picture that was taken on the Wednesday before Easter this past year is in there too. Just think, right now it is like she is still growing up. They are recent. They still seem new. Yet think about how it will be in 5 … [Read more...]
Loneliness, how it must feel
The loneliness I feel is like nothing else I have ever experience in my life. It does not matter what I do or who I talk to it is always there. There are times when I can keep myself busy enough not to have to think about the true loneliness I feel but it always comes back. I sit here in my house all alone. I have my puppy sitting on my lap because he does not like to be alone. I have my kitten at my feet because he does not like to be alone. I am glad I have them because they at least keep … [Read more...]
Friendship at its best
I have a dear friend that I used to work with that I had not talked to in several months who recently just find out about what happened with Mari. I have truly missed talking to her. We both have our own lives and we had both become so busy with our own lives that we didn’t talk like we used to. I sent her an email the other day telling her among many others that I know that I had created this website in dedication to Mari. When she found out she decided to call me right away but you could … [Read more...]
Mari’s World – Can You Just Imagine
Today is a day without our baby girl. It seems like just yesterday that she went to be in heaven. It seem like I just said good bye. I remember that last day with longing before she went to the doctor. I felt so inconvenienced when the school called to tell me that she had a diarrhea. I felt they were making a big deal out of nothing. Who would have ever thought that what seemed like a day of inconvenience at the time would be a day I would take back in a heartbeat. Who would ever have thought … [Read more...]
