Life sometimes can totally surprise us in the most unexpected ways. For instance, a big trampoline. How in the world is a trampoline possibly related to writing? Before I read today's except on the phrase above, I was stumped. Then I started to read how scared to death the woman was by "what looked like a big lake of black water." She said, "I’m here to tell you that it is impossible to be calm and dignified on a trampoline. It is also impossible to feel safe on one. I crawled onto [it] and … [Read more...]
Day 151: Walking Away
In life sometimes there are things we want to do so bad, and then we start to do them only to find that about two-thirds to three-fourths of the way through what we are doing isn't anything like we'd thought it'd be. As a result, we realize we need to stop without finishing. Has this ever happened to you before in your life? It has with me, only I realized this when I had completed the full first draft of Mari's book. The book I'd written was a complete biography of Mari's life as well as some … [Read more...]
Day 146: The Sliver of Ice
As writers, we tend to write about what we know. We take things that happen in our own lives and somehow use them in what we write. for myself, this is true in that I'm able to take all of the good and the sad, tragic, hurtful or a combo of them and use them to develop my writing that much further. When I was writing Mari's memoir, I took the very updates I wrote when she was alive and I have used those as my notes for her memoir. When those were written, they were fresh. Many of my memories … [Read more...]
Favorite Childhood Costumes and Other Memories
Okay, I’ll be honest. I don’t have a favorite childhood costume (I know, how sad is that LOL). The reason why is I don’t really remember any particular costume I had. Do you remember those like plastic type costumes that covered the body and then the hard plastic mask for the face? Those are the one that I remember getting every year. I never had one of those kewl costumes that so many other kids at on at school. My mom couldn’t afford it. Today, however, those types of costumes I don’t think … [Read more...]
A Broken Heart is an Open Heart
Grief and bereavement is a long and difficult journey. Even if the loss is imminent and you think you are prepared, there is no adequate preparation in the end. The agony of losing a loved one, particularly a beloved child who should have long outlived you, is acute and sudden yet also seemingly never-ending. When I lost my niece a few years ago the intensity of the grief I felt overwhelmed me. Yet somehow, in the process of both recovering from my own sense of loss and helping my sister - who … [Read more...]
Day 130: Paying Attention
When I write about Mari, I’m paying attention to my internal thoughts and feelings that I have at the time. She will be at the forefront as I write out the words on the screen. For me, it’s about know that I’m being truthful about what I’m feeling at the time. It helps me to grieve for her and heal at the same time. Sometimes it’s when I’m feeling sad and really missing her and other times it’s about the happy memories I have of her. I know that all of this requires me to pay attention to my … [Read more...]
Day 96: The Things We Keep
In life as each day goes by we create memories. For the most part most of those memories aren't that important so we forget about them. But the important ones sometimes feel like they embed themselves into our brains. When my daughter died I knew I couldn't go back and live in the house where all I had surrounding me were memories of her. Pictures on the wall. Her silly cups. Her food. Her bedroom. I was a stay at home mom of a child with severe autism whose life completely revolved around my … [Read more...]
R is for Remember
We will always remember our little angel who could flap her little wings and take flight in Mari's world. Remember. There is so much to remember about Mari. Her ability to make everything into a chewie toy. Whether she had her chewie tube on or her shirt sleeve, she found some way to chew on something. Preacakes. You might be wondering what in the world those are. They were Mari's word for pancakes. She loved them so much. She knew the ingredients needed to make them and she helped me to … [Read more...]
Q is for quest
Because in Mari's world I bet she was always on a quest to find some new adventure that lead her to Giggle Town. I laugh when I think of that line above. Mari always loved to retreat into her world. Sometimes I wish there could have been a way for me to go with her to see for myself what made her so happy as she visited her own Giggle Town. It was rare to see Mari sad. She could entertain herself for hours. Turn on a Backyardigans or Dora or Wonder Pets video and she was just happy. She … [Read more...]
N is for night
As Mari could play through the night (if we allowed her :) ) . Nighttime. Mari is the complete night-owl. It didn't matter what time we put her to bed. She never went to sleep right away. We kind of had a nightly ritual that we followed with her. First we would sing the made up song her teacher in DeKalb taught us. It went like this: "Toys away. Toys away. It's time to put our toys away." We would repeat that several times until everything was cleaned up. Then it was time to get her … [Read more...]
