Today is the start of a new day. It’s a day I have not had to do in many years (eight, almost nine, years to be precise). It’s a day I have not been ready for before now. In the past it would have been a day I dreaded but now I am really looking forward to it. It’s a day where I take the first step, of what I am sure are going to be many, in getting a job on post (Fort Knox). Before Mari died, as most of you know by now I was a stay at home mom taking caring of our one and only child. … [Read more...]
Julie and Sylvia
Sylvia, I want you to know how much of a dear friend you have become to me. I mean, don't get me wrong, you were such a help to Keith and I when we were still living in DeKalb. Every Sunday morning you enabled us to be able to attend church service while you were taking care of our beloved angel during children’s church. You enabled her to participate and be around other kids her own age. You have such a gift and you were a God send as you have the speech background that could ultimately … [Read more...]
Strength…
Strength: Where does it come from? Everyone always wants to tell me how strong I am for how I am today with dealing with the death of Mari. And I used to think the same thing when I saw a parent and how they were dealing with the death of a child. I would think to myself how incredibly strong that person must be to be dealing with the loss. The strength they have inside themselves must be so incredibly strong to be able to get through this incredibly hard time. I know I could never be that … [Read more...]
Mari’s Dress
I’ve spent the day trying to unpack the spare bedroom/office area. It's such time consuming work. Once in a while I run into something that was Mari’s. For the most part, all of her stuff was packed away and is in the storage unit we rented as our place is just too small to hold all of our stuff until we get on-post housing. I was going through one of the boxes we'd packed back up after the movers just half-assed put our stuff everywhere and was a big mess. As I was going through this box, … [Read more...]
Changes
I sit here in our car as Keith and I are driving to DeKalb one last time before we move to Kentucky. I have nothing to write on at the moment so I took some brown napkins from my glove compartment to use instead (I guess they're not just for wiping your hands off after all). Many things are happening right now in our lives. Many good-byes. The other day we attended our last Parent-only grief group. It was definitely bitter-sweet. I can say without hesitation that this group is beyond … [Read more...]
Thinking about Mari
I was sitting here tonight thinking about Mari. Keith and I went to a new grief support group specifically for parents who have lost a child they were still raising, so the child they lost were under eighteen for the most part. It was nice to go to a group that for the first time truly understood what it was like to lose a child well before their time. Most of the children seemed to have died from a disease like cancer or a sudden death. Mari’s is still hard for me to classify as it wasn't … [Read more...]
T’was the Night Before Our Lives Changed
I am asking for everyone's help. I have rewritten a poem that is a dedication to Mari. If everyone could please read it and give me your comments, I would appreciate it more than you know. I have also put "T'was the Night Before Christmas" below my poem so you can put them side by side. My hope is that you feel my poem matches up with this poem. Thanks in advance for everyone's help with this. Kristena T’was the night before our lives changed, forever in our house, No one could have known, … [Read more...]
Can Two People Really Grieve That Differently?
How can two people who love each other so much grieve in such utterly different ways. I don’t think there is a person on the planet who doesn’t know that men are different than women. This is why the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus was written and the game was created. It is to try to help all of us understand the opposite sex. Personally, I have never read the book but I can just imagine what it says. Tonight I went outside to gather up more firewood from our backyard. I started … [Read more...]
The Value of a Mom’s Tears (or Dad’s)
To me crying is never embarrassing because it is the way I truly express myself. It shows that I am sad. However, tears can make those around you so uncomfortable. I was recently given an article written by Dr. Joyce Brothers. Now she is before most our time (although I have heard of her before) but she wrote something about tears when she lost her husband. I felt that I could turn this article into something that can become applicable for a mother and/or father who has lost a child. When a … [Read more...]
What do you say to someone who has lost a child?
It seems no one really know what to say to someone when that person has lost a child. You can tell that everyone around you is uncomfortable to talk about the child you have lost. It seems that they are always afraid of saying the wrong thing. I was listening to the radio this morning and there happened to be a small segment on how to cope with the loss of a child. For the most part, it did not apply to me because it was dealing with the loss of a child when you know that your child is … [Read more...]
