Grief and bereavement is a long and difficult journey. Even if the loss is imminent and you think you are prepared, there is no adequate preparation in the end. The agony of losing a loved one, particularly a beloved child who should have long outlived you, is acute and sudden yet also seemingly never-ending. When I lost my niece a few years ago the intensity of the grief I felt overwhelmed me. Yet somehow, in the process of both recovering from my own sense of loss and helping my sister - who … [Read more...]
Day 131: Do Not Try This at Home
Well, this is a little different. There are so many things where there is a warning, especially on TV, where it says, “Do Not Try This At Home.” I think of that movie “Jack (you know the word)” where there is a guy who I guess does a bunch of really stupid things. Personally, I’ve never seen this movie and really never want to either. Dare devils who do their death-defying stunts. And you’re like, “Yeah right would I try that at home. I’m sane.” LOL Or how about those who go after things like … [Read more...]
Day 130: Paying Attention
When I write about Mari, I’m paying attention to my internal thoughts and feelings that I have at the time. She will be at the forefront as I write out the words on the screen. For me, it’s about know that I’m being truthful about what I’m feeling at the time. It helps me to grieve for her and heal at the same time. Sometimes it’s when I’m feeling sad and really missing her and other times it’s about the happy memories I have of her. I know that all of this requires me to pay attention to my … [Read more...]
Day 129: Imaginations Going Nuts
I had to laugh. Just yesterday I was talking to a friend on the phone and I was talking about my story. She said, “Well, I’m glad I’m not in that family.” I had to agree. My main character is going to go through a tragedy that so few will ever go through, and thank goodness most people never will. However, it will hopefully still resonate because everyone in life at some points has some type of tragedy that befalls them. Whether it’s as simple as loss their job or as tragic as losing a child, we … [Read more...]
Day 127: One True Sentence
In writing, there is both fiction and nonfiction. Obviously, nonfiction is going to be based on a true story or something base that has happened in real life. However, fiction is all made up in the mind of the individual who writes it. However, even with fiction, there is a little bit of true behind. I might be wrong, but from what I have experienced and other authors I’ve talked to, they always put a little bit of either themselves and/or people they know. Not that they copy exactly who the … [Read more...]
Day 125: Approval
That one little word, approval, can mean so much to someone. To know that someone approves of something you have said or done. It gives you the confidence you might not have had otherwise. I think back on the time during the time when Mari was in the hospital. When she had made it to her fourth and final hospital I was told by one of the nurses about CarePages. She told me it was a way to keep family and friends updated on Mari and how she was doing. I couldn’t wait to get started. We had so … [Read more...]
Day 124: Breaking Glass: Metaphor and Symbols
In life, it seems so many of try to come our grief and pain to someone else’s. Our tragedy to theirs. The thing is that even if the tragedies sound similar in nature, no two are the same. I remember going to a wake a few months after my daughter had passed. The may be long but here goes: My husband’s sister’s husband’s (David’s) grandfather had passed away. Both David’s grandmother and the grandfather had come to Mari’s wake. Basically his whole family came by to pay their respects. I … [Read more...]
Day 123: An Empty Swimming Pool
Life. The unexpectable waiting around any corner for us to come and find it. Yet, so many of us fight the unknown. It can scare the you-know-what out of us, and its even worse for those we affectionately call “control freak.” It’s in their nature to try to stay in control of everything. However, life has a way of deciding when and where it will take us. It’s like a pool that sits right in your backyard. You know it like the back of your hand. You swim in it every day as it brings you … [Read more...]
Moments Where Prayer Is Needed
In life we have so many different types of moments that forever touch us in some way. Some are those happy moments that you remember with a smile on your face. And then there are those that when you look back bring tears to your eyes. You couldn't stop the tears if you tried. I have a friend. Her sister's little girl over a year ago ingested toxic soda, or better known here in the US as a dry powder crystal type Draino. When I found out, I of course hoped that somehow the little 2-year-old … [Read more...]
Day 122: Fiction vs. Nonfiction
I think back to the day while Mari was in the hospital and I told someone that whether Mari made it or if she passed I was thinking about writing a book about her life. I’m not exactly sure why I would have thought to do something like this as I definitely didn’t believe I was a writer. After she passed and a little time had passed, I decided to write a book about her life. The only drawback to all of this is I had no idea what I was doing. My husband tried to help me with editing it the best … [Read more...]
