As we approach Memorial Day many things come to mind but at the forefront of my mind is our beloved Mariana. No she never served in our nation’s Armed Forces but she had the privilege of being buried in the Abraham Lincoln National Cemetery. How might you ask is this possible if she was never a veteran as only veterans are allowed to be buried in a national cemetery or the veteran’s spouse. Well there is one loop-hole that my husband Keith and I found out the hard way: If you have a child that … [Read more...]
Love The One Your With
Well, I sit here at home today by myself as Keith has left on his first trip for his new position today. He'll only be gone until Thursday, in other words five days and four nights. When you put it into overall perspective, it's really not that long considering he is in the Army and he could be being deployed instead and gone for a year or two. But still, I hate it when he has to leave. I'm not one of those wives who actually looks forward to their husbands leaving for a few days or if he … [Read more...]
Paperwork Junkies
What, you might ask, is a “Paperwork Junky?” Well, you might relate. It's those individuals who go out to check their mail, come back in the house and place it on the table (or where ever one might put their mail). It might get gone through right away or it might sit there and have other mail accumulate with it. If it gets gone through, the stuff that's obvious junk mail almost always gets thrown away. The other stuff more times than not will get put into a nice neat pile to get filed away for … [Read more...]
The days, months, and years to come
I sit here wondering what life has in store for me in the days, months, and years to come. Just two years ago at this same time, I knew Keith, my husband, and I had a life of taking care of a severely autistic child that within the next few years would more than likely have to be put into some kind of home for her own safety. She was getting harder and harder to take care of and she kept escaping out of our house. We knew we didn't want to do this but we knew that the way things were going we … [Read more...]
That Hideous Doctrine by John Thomas
I wanted to share this with everyone. It was given to me while my husband and I were taking Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University at our church over two years ago. I just recently found my copy of it and wanted to share it with all of you. From Moody Monthly/September 1985 That hideous doctrine of hell is fading. How often have you thought of it in the past month, for instance? Does it make a difference in your concern for others, in your witness? Is it a constant and proper … [Read more...]
HER FINAL DAY
It's a beautiful day by anyone’s account. The date is July 22, 2008. The sky is crystal clear and Caribbean blue. It's around eighty degrees and only getting hotter by the hour. A typical summer day in Chicago. The day has one vital flaw: It's the day I'll bury my one and only child. Her name is Mariana (Mar-ē-awe-na). She was eight-and-a-half years old when she left this earth on July 16. I guess if you're getting ready to permanently say good-bye to the one person who has completely occupied … [Read more...]
Pictures…
Today I sit here thinking about my wonderful husband. He's been my rock through all of this. He's been the one to help get me through. Keith has been my everything and I'm sure he will continue to be for many years to come. Today has been a good day for me. I haven't cried and I haven't felt as sad as I normally am. This is a good thing. The two paragraphs above were written yesterday. Pictures. All of a sudden I'm sitting here thinking about pictures. I started to think about them … [Read more...]
Loneliness
Today is a day of utter loneliness. I can’t explain it. All I want to do is just sit here and cry. I'm at home all alone. I really don’t feel like talking to anyone, yet I wish someone was here. Keith is at work. Those that I do call are either not answering their phones or they're out and about running errands. I know it's not anyone’s job to keep me company or help me to feel better. I just wish I didn't feel so lonely. The loneliness goes clear to the very bottom of my heart, the depths of my … [Read more...]
Life In General…
I was just sitting here thinking tonight about life in general. The last 8 months have been more than I ever thought possible. Two days before Mari had gotten sick, my mom’s brother, my Uncle Ray died in his sleep. I believe he was only 62 or 63 years old. I remember growing up and spending the night at his house on Christmas Eve with our ENTIRE BIG family. I think he may have even played Santa a few times. That was our first huge blow for the year. Then Mari got sick. We all know how that … [Read more...]
To The Love Of My Life – married 15 years February 18
To the man I love You are my partner, my friend You are the one I choose to not live my life without You have become my everything I don’t know exactly when this happened But you are why I am here today You have shown me what patience looks like You have shown me what true unconditional love really is You have shown me that God really does work in mysterious ways Mari is gone and you are here We are here We are there for each other in both the good days and the bad When trouble comes you have … [Read more...]
