January 2 I sit here in church service. Right away they start by singing. The tears start to well up and I have to leave. I still have a hard time just being able to sing in church. It is so hard for me. Somehow it just makes me miss Mari all the more. She would always love the singing portion of church service. She would sing in her own special way. She would sometimes flap her arms in excitement. She truly loved the singing. I think I just truly miss that with her not here … [Read more...]
The magic of love
December 14, 2010 Love. Love has its own special magic. When all else fails, you still have love. There are some people who have not been lucky enough to truly experience the love you receive from your life partner. I feel like I am one of the lucky ones. I met Keith when I was only 19 years old. Our first impression of one another was, let’s just say, not that great. So it wasn’t love at first sight. Personally, I have never experienced that but sometimes you just don’t need … [Read more...]
Playing Games
December 7, 2010 Can you imagine loving to play a game so much that you allow yourself to stay up later than you should because you have to go to work the next day. Well, Keith and I both love playing the same game and we stay up way too late. Last night was another one of those nights. We finally got to bed about 11:30pm. Then we sat talking for a few minutes. I think we both finally headed off to never-never land around midnight. This morning when I woke up I was more tired than I … [Read more...]
Work at Walmart
(It looks like this was written around end of October) I have been working at Walmart now for the past 2 months. When asked, “Is it what you expected?” I’m not sure if I know what to expect exactly. I mean, I know I would be on my feet the majority of the time (I mean it is Walmart after all). But as for what I expected, I really did not have a lot of expectations. I know that starting off on the graveyard shift would be a drastic change since I have never worked that shift before. Not … [Read more...]
An update…
I wanted to give everyone an update. After only being at WalMart for 3 weeks and working the lovely graveyard shift, I was interviewed for a new position and promoted to a Department Manager. I officially started the new position about 3 1/2 weeks ago and love it. It is right up my ally. As my hubby would say, it fits right into how I like being anally organized. It is a lot of fun and I still very exhausted at the end of the day as I have been on my feet for eight hours. The other great … [Read more...]
The Start of a New Day
Today is the start of a new day. It’s a day I have not had to do in many years (eight, almost nine, years to be precise). It’s a day I have not been ready for before now. In the past it would have been a day I dreaded but now I am really looking forward to it. It’s a day where I take the first step, of what I am sure are going to be many, in getting a job on post (Fort Knox). Before Mari died, as most of you know by now I was a stay at home mom taking caring of our one and only child. … [Read more...]
Just sitting here thinking
The last few days I've just been sitting here thinking about how I've come to truly love writing and then sharing it with all of you. It gives me a peace inside that I never knew it could bring me. When I was growing up, school was very hard for me, especially English. I would say that English was my very hardest class and then history was next with trying to remember all those little factoids. I can remember right after I graduated high school and I started to attend the local community … [Read more...]
Contemplating Christmas
T'is the season of joy, happiness & love, or at least that is how it used to be. Last year, what would've been our first Christmas without Mari, we got to escape and go to Hawaii. I didn't have to deal with the glaring reality of her not being here. Now this year has come. It's technically our second Christmas season. But the reality is so different. This is like it's our first one without her instead. It feels like ever since Thanksgiving Day I've been just getting by. Almost like … [Read more...]
When We Think of 4th of July
When we think of 4th of July, we think of celebrations and get togethers. Get togethers with family. Get togethers with friends. Get togethers with co-workers. Get togethers with strangers. It's a time of celebrations and fun. A time to enjoy each others company. A time to reminisce with those you haven't seen in a while. A time to enjoy the fireworks and festivities. A time to enjoy parades. A time to enjoy the children’s faces light up over seeing the fireworks show or writing … [Read more...]
Missing her…
I miss Mari so much today. I'm not even sure why. I talked with an old family friend I've known since I was probably about four or five years old today. She lost a son a couple of years ago so she knows what it's like to lose a child. She's a good person to talk to. For some reason I keep thinking back to the Saturday, the day after her cerebral hemorrhage and cardiac arrest, and when the PICU attending told us it was the worst CT scan she'd ever seen. How that day it felt like my world … [Read more...]
