I sit here in church today just hoping I will make it through. I found Mari’s crayons she used to color with in my Bible bag this morning. The bag was on the very top shelf of our bedroom closet. Just imagine, it was as if there were dust atop the bag as it had been up on that shelf since we moved into our home in September. I went through the bag just to make sure of what was in there. There they sat; her crayons. When we used to go to church with Mari in tow, this is partly how we could keep … [Read more...]
Posting Comments and To Those Who Care
I sit here just thinking about our beautiful little Mari and how much I miss her. My dog Cody is by my feet playing with my cat Bandit. He is growling while the cat is hissing (believe it or not they are actually playing and DO like each other). While I sit here listening to them I just think of Mari. I think of how much I miss her and wish she was here beside me so I could hear her playing instead of my animals. I went on Otrib.com today just to see if anyone had responded to her dedication … [Read more...]
Preacakes
It is Saturday morning and I have just woken up. Daddy is still sleeping beside me as he has had a long week at work in the recruiting office. They usually are. It is about 10:15 in the morning. I have awoken to the sound of our eight year old little angel singing her heart out through the monitor. She is singing one of her very favorite song, “Rescue pack, comin’ to the rescue …” It is from one of her favorite shows Diego, the Animal Rescuer. I lay in bed awhile longer trying to just rest … [Read more...]
Remembering Mari, how sweet it really is!!
I sit here today actually feeling ok for the moment. It seems like most days are either ok or they are just sad and lonely. I was sitting here in my house yesterday and feeling utterly lonely. I was looking at Mari’s photos up on my mantel for her dedication wall. I sat here on my couch taking a break from my new website I have been trying to get up and running and was just looking. I thought about how it feels like just yesterday she was here. It feels like sometimes that she should be … [Read more...]
Sitting Here Dazed and Confused
I sit here in a complete and utter daze right now. To think that it has been 6 months seems so overwhelming in the scope of things. I have gotten pretty bad about checking my mail. My husband went and got the mail from the mailbox today and brought in a huge stack. In that stack was a big manila envelope. It was from Mari’s teacher that she had from February 15, 2005 until December, 2007 right before Christmas break. Because I fought so hard for my precious baby girl I was able to get her into … [Read more...]
6 months have come and gone
It is hard to believe that as I sit here typing this that 6 months have gone by since Mariana passed away. Sometimes I just sit here and wonder how this could be. I mean a year ago at this time we had just moved into our new home. Keith had finally gotten his orders for the Oak Lawn recruiting station to become a station commander there. We were getting ready to have both Keith's and Mari's 8th birthday party together here in the next couple of weeks. She was in her new school and she was … [Read more...]
Thank you for reading and listening…
Today was a day of contemplation. I have been going to school on and office since 1995. I have slowly but surely been trying to obtain a college degree. Sometimes I am seeking an associate degree and then others I just go straight for the gusto and try seeking a bachelor’s degree. At this point I have well over 90 credit hours but some are things I don’t need. I am literally two classes away from finally getting my associate degree in business and graduating in May 2009. So I am finally going to … [Read more...]
Our Angel In Heaven
Our angel in heaven How quick she must be If you can imagine She flew like a bee As soon as she arrived In heaven that first day You can just imagine How she wanted to play Can you just see her Dancing and singing While everyone around her Is laughing and swinging The clouds are no match As she wanted to paint So she took out her markers Just like a saint The clouds are her canvas, I know it’s hard to imagine But somehow she did it Like no one could fathom She wrote out in marker Her … [Read more...]
T’was the Night Before Our Lives Changed
T’was the night before our lives changed, forever in our house, No one could have known, not even a mouse. For our hopes hung in the balance with all human care, In the hopes that our prayers would be answered right there. The people who loved her went off to their beds, While they laid there and slept or prayed in their heads. And daddy had his hope, and mommy had her fears, Because the next morning might bring about our tears. We arose the next morning to hear so much clatter, As … [Read more...]
Mari’s 9th birthday was today
Today is Mari’s birthday, or at least it would have been. She would have turned 9 years old. I think back to 9 years ago and how I had a very difficult time delivering her. She had an extremely hard time coming into this world. It seems like she has always been a fighter. She always fought for what SHE wanted. It did not matter what anyone else wanted. Mari would have had such a good time today. All of her cousins from her daddy’s side were here today, her aunt’s and some of her uncles, and … [Read more...]
