I love this question. Why do I write? It's simple really. I do it because I've grown to love it and couldn't imagine my life without it now. I write when I'm sad. I write when I'm happy. I write when I have news to share. For me it has become an extension of who I am. I think, in a way, people who read what I write have a view into who I am as a person. I've become happier as a person. I think back to the day I started this site. I was so sad. Grief engulfed my body. I was missing my … [Read more...]
T is for Time
Mari's time may not have been long on this earth but the impression she made on those around her will last forever. When we think about a young child dying, the first thought that naturally comes to mind is they're too young too dye or they're time was too short or they aren't supposed to die before me. We are human and in our brains we can't wrap it around how not just a child, but any child for that matter, could die. Our hearts break any time we hear of one passing. Mari was no … [Read more...]
L is for Loving
Because loving Mari was, and still is, so easy to do. When you are pregnant with your first child everyone tells you that the moment your baby is born you will be filled with so much love that there are no words to describe the amount of love that fills your heart to capacity to the point of even spilling over. You question how can that possibly happen. There are no answers that can describe it. It just does. I remember shopping in Wal-Mart one day with my mother-in-law and she told me … [Read more...]
Day 68: Making Use of Fear
In life there are so many things we can be fearful of. Some seem irrational like small spaces, loud noises like fireworks shows, or even the little itty-bitty spiders that to some say, "it's more afraid of you than you of it." I think my granny (noises) and my mom (spiders) would beg to differ. When it comes to writing, fear can grind us to a halt. We are afraid of what some might say about our writing. Or we won't ever find an agent or publisher so why try. Or sometimes the strongest fears … [Read more...]
G is for giving
As you can't help giving your heart to Mari as she enters it for good. It never seemed to amaze me how captivating our daughter was. Here laughter could draw in almost anyone. It was infectious. I loved when she was sitting in her high chair eating and out of the blue she would start to giggle. You looked at where you thought she was but there wasn't anything there. She sort of had this far off look. She had escaped into Mari's world. I can imagine what her world was like as she was … [Read more...]
Day 63: Feast or Famine: Part 2
Have you ever sat down to your computer or your binder paper and suddenly you have nothing to write. In fact, this goes on for several days. Nothing is coming to you. This is what we writers hate to have happen: Writer's Block. Or the famine. For whatever reason, all of our ideas have dried up like a lake that goes through a severe drought and dries all up. We want to write. We've scheduled our time out and yet here we sit. This has happened with Mari's website for me. If you take a look … [Read more...]
F is for Faith
Mari's cousin Faith was always the one to take care of Mari even though Faith was four years younger than her. Faith came into this world as a sweet beautiful little girl who grew into Mari's surrogate big sister even though she was younger. When we would come to visit Keith's mom and dad, Faith would bring Mari into her room and try her very best to force Mari to play with her. Here's the thing. No one could force Mari to do anything she didn't want to without Mari fighting you tooth and … [Read more...]
E is for Energy
You shake your head at all the energy one little girl exuded. Mari's infallible energy never ceased to amaze any of us. She could run through the house dancing, singing, both at the same time. She wasn't picky. Mari truly didn't care what other people thought of her. She'd run around at school, church, the store or any place that had a floor. So basically everywhere. I remember one day after the church service watching Mari in her normal exuberant self run all around making her Mari … [Read more...]
A is for Amazing
What an amazing little girl Mari was. My daughter had such an amazing way of being able to jump into your heart and stay forever. Mari didn't fit the stereotype for someone with autism. So much so that when she was two and attended the early intervention program that everyone kept saying she had autistic tendencies but she didn't have autism. She was tested in January 2003 by neuropsychologist. On February 5, my husband, Keith, and I were given the test results. Not only did Mari test on the … [Read more...]
Day 57: Juggling
In life, the perfect day would be 100% smooth. If we're doing something we don't get interrupted. We blissfully move from one activity to another. The dream life. Well, that's just it. It's a dream. Whether at home or at a job, you will always inevitably be interrupted by someone or something. That's just life. Sometimes those interruptions are either wanted or good. Other times you wish you could disappear. Ultimately, we have to juggle everything we do in just the right combination so we … [Read more...]
