In life as each day goes by we create memories. For the most part most of those memories aren't that important so we forget about them. But the important ones sometimes feel like they embed themselves into our brains. When my daughter died I knew I couldn't go back and live in the house where all I had surrounding me were memories of her. Pictures on the wall. Her silly cups. Her food. Her bedroom. I was a stay at home mom of a child with severe autism whose life completely revolved around my … [Read more...]
Day 84: How to Be a Writer
There's an age-old saying that says "patience is a virtue." However, God skipped the boat with me on that front. Sometimes I can feel the frustration boiling up to where my lid could blow a hole through the roof. I know my voice can suddenly shoot up to screaming in a second. This has been a flaw of mine since I can remember. Through all of this, God decided in His infinite wisdom that I could handle a blond hair, Caribbean blue-eyed beautiful little girl who happened to have severe classic … [Read more...]
Y is for yummy
Boy did Mari think her food was yummy. I swear I think we asked ourselves one too many times if Mari wore her food more than she ate it. It would be all over her face, in her hair, all over her clothes, and below her highchair all over the floor. You might be thinking, "Highchair?" Yes, Mari still sat in her highchair and actually preferred sitting there. When it was time to eat she would actually climb herself in, but that's a different story. Back to Mari's food. Mari thought something … [Read more...]
S is for Serious
Seriously, Mari was anything but serious. Autism. In and of itself is some pretty serious stereotypes. Children with autism don't show emotions, especially smiling and absolutely no laughing or giving of hugs. Eye contact. It doesn't happen. Concentration. Almost nonexistent. There are others as well but these ones are typically at the top of the list. I smile because not only did Mari have severe classic autism (on a scale of 1 to 10, Mari was between an 8 or 9), but she broke the mold … [Read more...]
P is for patient
Because Mari taught me how to be patient. I always tell people that God has given some people the gift of patience, but I'm not one of them. Since I can remember I've struggled with being patient. I guess using the cliché, "She has a short fuse," can be pretty accurate most of the time. The thing is having a daughter with autism doesn't exactly mesh with someone who doesn't have patience. So who do you think is going to have to change? The person with autism whom you can't communicate with … [Read more...]
O is for open, as Mari was always open to try new things.
I have to laugh. Mari would be the one where nothing would stop her from trying something new. However, most of us would think twice before doing so. Even then it could take us several more times and then we don't go through with it. There could be several reasons why. The bottom line is we stop to think about it. This is where Mari was on the more unique side because that's just it - she didn't think. She just did. Now I'm not saying this was always the smartest choice (hence dancing on the … [Read more...]
M is for Mari’s world
As Mari always had an infectious laugh when she visited Mari's world. I was talking to a friend this morning about Mari's world. When she would escape to go there you could tell because she would get this far off look. What I told my friend is maybe Mari's special world was heaven. Maybe in her world she got to talk to Jesus. She could walk around there without autism. A world where she was perfect. Wouldn't that be kewl. I smile just thinking about it. … [Read more...]
L is for Loving
Because loving Mari was, and still is, so easy to do. When you are pregnant with your first child everyone tells you that the moment your baby is born you will be filled with so much love that there are no words to describe the amount of love that fills your heart to capacity to the point of even spilling over. You question how can that possibly happen. There are no answers that can describe it. It just does. I remember shopping in Wal-Mart one day with my mother-in-law and she told me … [Read more...]
K is for Kindred Spirit
Because Mari's kindred spirit infiltrated every pore in our bodies. When I think of kindred spirits I always think of the Anne of Green Gables movies. Anne Shirley always talked about how her friends were her bosom friends and that they were kindred spirits. I think Mari was a kindred spirit and that is why she will always be so fondly remembered. For me, she's the one who organically or naturally through no selfish desire showed those around her what love is supposed to look like. So … [Read more...]
E is for Energy
You shake your head at all the energy one little girl exuded. Mari's infallible energy never ceased to amaze any of us. She could run through the house dancing, singing, both at the same time. She wasn't picky. Mari truly didn't care what other people thought of her. She'd run around at school, church, the store or any place that had a floor. So basically everywhere. I remember one day after the church service watching Mari in her normal exuberant self run all around making her Mari … [Read more...]
