I think back to 15 years ago today and my world was about to permanently change. Right now it’s 10:15 a.m., Alaskan time, but in the Chicago area it’s one fifteen in the afternoon. At this point, the doctor had started the Pitocin and I was about three hours into delivering Mariana. I was a little less than six hours away from giving birth to her. She took us from being a two to a three. Our little miracle was coming into the world. Little did we know that only eight-and-a-half short years later … [Read more...]
Going through Mari’s stuff
Over the last couple of weeks I’ve started going through Mari’s stuff. I still remember the day we went into the house we’d been renting and sat there packing up every single item that either was Mari’s or we needed for her. Nothing got thrown away. Even her juice cups and light switch covers all got saved. At that point, Mari may have been gone about two to two-and-a-half months. I felt like if I threw something away belonging to her, somehow it’s like I was throwing her away. My grief wouldn’t … [Read more...]
Seeing the Gift
Wow, it's hard to believe that Mari's book is done. I entered the last of the edits to part 2 and sent it off to my editor (my dear sweet friend Deirdre). This day has been almost six years in the making. A week from tonight I will be on a plane heading toward Chicago as I go visit family. But even bigger than this is the reason I'm heading out that way to begin with. ACFW (American Christian Fiction Writers) is having their annual writing conference September 25-27 in St. Louis, MO. I'm … [Read more...]
V is for Vibrant #atozchallenge
The word 'vibrant'. When I think of this word immediately Mari's sweet angelic face pops in my head. I can see her vivid blue eyes. Her bright shining smile. She had a zest for life I think most people wish they could have. I sit here thinking back on Mari's life, and while there are those time that made raising her very hard due to her autism and her inability to be able to communicate and understand safety awareness, she was a very happy little girl. Her vibrancy seemed almost contagious at … [Read more...]
U is for Unique #atozchallenge
A uniquely different kind of girl. Mari had one of those personality that sticks with you. If you'd met her, you remember her for the spunky little thing that she was. She rarely got upset but when she did you heard about it. She'd be playing with a toy and every seemed to be going fine when all of a sudden she'd scream at whatever it was she was playing with or doing, then either throw it or destroy whatever it was she was making. I know so many children who have autism have meltdowns on a … [Read more...]
S is for Special Education #atozchallenge #specialeducation
One of the most impactual things to happen in Mari's life was her schooling. From the time she was only two-years-old, Mari started attending the Early Intervention Program that was part of the Chicago Heights School District. She was apart of this program until we moved in September 2004 to DeKalb. She started in an Early Childhood program there but the teacher, while she was a really nice woman, was very honest with me when she said she didn't know what to do to help Mari and her autism. Of … [Read more...]
R is for Remember #atozchallenge
It's hard not to remember such a remarkable little girl as Mari. I know that I might be a tad bit biased, but I also know how this one little girl touched so many people's lives in ways I never could have imagined. In the two weeks prior to Mari contracting E. coli, she was in a special summer school program as well as a camp for special needs children. She went to summer school Monday through Thursday until around 1pm and then a bus picked her up and took her to camp. On Friday's she got to go … [Read more...]
O is for opens a door, window or gate
It seemed like there was never a door, window or gate that'd get in Mari's way. She'd simply open it and go where ever it is that interested her at the time. In her last six months we had moved to a new house in Burbank, Illinois. I think it was in this house where Mari was the most active with trying to do whatever it was she wanted to do without any regard to the safety aspect so Mommy also had several minor heart attacks as a result. I have to smile now looking back on those times knowing … [Read more...]
K is for Kiss
Mari's kisses were special. She wasn't one to just give them freely. When she did, it meant more than most because of the significance of her comprehending what a kiss was: a form of endearment. She could communicate her feelings or emotions like so many of us can today. Her autism simply didn't allow it. However, over time she slowly came out of her shell. No, not like a typical person, but different than she once was. I loved giving her a kiss goodbye or a kiss good night when we were tucking … [Read more...]
I is for Independent
Little Miss Independent is what we used to call Mari. She had a very big independent personality. She preferred to play by herself, watch movies by herself, just about anything by herself. I could sit there, sometimes, and just watch her playing on the floor with whatever it was she was playing with and be utterly content. That is until something didn't go the way she liked or wanted and then we heard about it. She get all upset, start to scream, and then it usually resulted in her messing … [Read more...]
