I wish sometimes people would really think before they say something.

It seems like I hear more times than not, “She’s in a better place.” I wonder if people HONESTLY think this makes us feel better. Yes, logically they are right. But to be blunt, WHO CARES. I am human and selfish by nature. I want my daughter back. I want her right here. It does not matter than she is technically in a better place. I miss her so much and now there is a whole in my heart that will never heal. It will never become whole again.

A couple of days ago there was a contractor that came to our house to fix some things that needed to be corrected for the village home inspection for us to be able to rent and live in the house we rented. A long story short I told him about Mari. He of course was curious and asked some questions as to what happened. I told him an extremely abbreviated version of the story because as I am sure you can well imagine it is not an easy story to tell. Then he ACTUALLY asked this question: “Do you miss her?” I could not believe the stupidity of the question. I kind of snapped at him. I said, “You know what, that was a STUPID question. WHAT DO YOU THINK?” Then I just started to cry. I could not believe he even thought to ask that question. I definitely think he talked before he really thought about what he was about to ask. I felt bad afterwards and apologized several times for snapping at him. He told me that if he the same thing had happened to him he might have said even worse. He told me not to worry about it.

I hope that all of our family, friends and those that care know how much we so appreciate you being there for us. And please know that we know you guys care for us and have been there for us more than we could have ever even imagined. Just know that what we really need from everyone is to just be there for us and to just listen when we need to talk. We love you all.