I sit here thinking about Mari.  I think I always think about her just sometimes more than others.  But right now I am really missing her.

I was talking to my dad a couple of days ago.  His cell decided to call me out of the blue.  When I answered all you could hear in the background was rustling around.  So you knew right then that he did not call and the cell phone had a mind of its own.

So I called him back just in case.  He said that he must of accidently pushed the speed dial button for my number without knowing it.

So we started to talk.  To be honest, he and I don’t really talk all that often.  I never really knew him as a kid and only as an adult when I was about 23 did I start to even talk to him.  We talk now 2 or 3 times a year to basically catch up and see how each other is doing.

On this call it was basically much of the same.  Then I started to talk about how I don’t like talking on the phone like I used to before what happened with Mari.  He told me that it only took about 6 months after her death before he started to feel like everything was going back to normal in his life.  So I explained to him that that is to be expected.  He was the grandfather and not the parent.  He only saw Mari 3 or 4 times in her entire life time.  Yes, he loved her as she was his granddaughter but the connection was just not the same.  Where as I, I was the mom.  I was with her almost every single day of her life.  She was half of my everything.  And now two years have come and gone and I still miss her so much.

I guess by the time I was done explaining it he understood where I was coming from.

Even now when I think about it, it is hard to believe that it has already been two years.