Steven Curtis Chapman has a song that talks about “Out of these ashes beauty will rise.”  The ashes represent the tragedy his family endured the day their daughter Maria died.  The “beauty [that] will rise” is representative of God’s grace and love that even though something as terrible as losing a child, God is still there through it all.  He is seeing you through.

I can say I do love this song and the hope it brings.  However, my life doesn’t seem to have found the Beauty of it all.  I still have yet to feel this hope.  I mean, I know God is out there taking care of us.  I know he loves us but the pain and sorrow I have for losing Mari is so great.  I seem to miss her more and more all the time.

I would love to be able to meet Steven and his wife Mary Beth someday to ask them how they have truly been able to make it through.  Just to watch people from the outside is not a sign of how they are actually getting through.  You tend to keep your grief to yourself.  Even when it comes to your spouse, you grieve differently.  You might have a great marriage before the loss but the death of a child puts stress on the marriage like nothing else can.  It does not matter how strong your marriage is before hand, the two will struggle to get through.