I was not sure if I could handle going back to church this morning. I have tried two times since Mari passed. Each time I could not make it through. I sit here writing this as those around me are singing. Singing was one of the things I used to love to do in church. It meant so much to me and I put my heart and soul into it. I just can’t seem to do that. Singing has always meant so much to me. In my high school youth group is where I was introduced to contemporary Christian songs. I am so thankful it was 20 years ago as it has forever been a part of my life, and it has grown into a true love for music as the words are some of the most heartfelt words about our Lord and those around us. I think this is why they are so incredibly hard for me to sing. They truly have always touched me in the very bottom of my heart and the depths of my soul. One day I know I will be able to sing them again, just not today.