I think back to the last time I wrote something on here and it was for Mari’s 14th birthday back in December. In only two and a half short months my life permanently changed seven years ago. July will always hold a place in my life of sadness. However, at least I have hope because I know through the life, death and resurrection of Jesus that I will get to see her again one day. I feel blessed that I am a believer because then I know I will get to see her again once I join her in heaven.
Today Keith, my husband of 21 years and the love of my life, loves to go through his Facebook newsfeed and watch different videos people have posted. Some are funny. Some entertaining. Some serious. Some are simply stupid. And then some are one that are just inappropriate.
Today is laundry day for me. I was putting things in the washer when I heard the current video Keith was watching. It was a man who, I guess, is supposed to be a comedian. He was talking about how white people after they’ve lost someone, it’s like they can’t wait to get the body of the person that has died into the ground and basically get on with their lives. Like white people don’t love or care about those they’ve lost. He went on to say that “black folks” basically do care and take at least a week or two before they bury them. Where Keith stopped the video is where the guy was saying that black people don’t just stand around watching a dead body.
While I know I shouldn’t, I took it so personally. Mariana and her lying in her casket came to mind. I can still see her lying there looking like she’s sleeping but the reality slaps you in the face knowing she is gone. Her spirit is gone from her body. She is no longer with us on this earth. That just about much I miss my baby girl. That I’m human and want her back with us so much. That this man had to be the most inconsiderate person to think that talking about “white people’s” losses are a joke and funny. There was nothing funny about losing Mari. I wish that people would learn that somethings just are off-limits to use in a “comedic performance” and inappropriate. Unfortunately, I know there will always be that one who does it anyway, hence this guy.
At least I have my memories of Mariana and know she’s forever apart of me.
Just read your story in Hope During Heartache. I am also one of the writers for that book (Nancy)I just wanted to say, sorry for your loss. Your story touched me.
Thank you Nancy for stopping by and reading my story and how we lost our beautiful baby girl. Our stories will be able to hopefully touch other people’s lives in a way that can bless those who read them. Thank you for also telling me how my story has touched you. It’s always so humbling to hear that because for me I just think of it as my memories put to words.
Oh, and I too discovered my gift of writing after losing my boys.
I’m always amazed how I turned to writing after losing our daughter. I never wanted to write before losing her, but god had other plans for my life. I’ve been blessed by my writing to be able to put to words those thoughts and feelings I have.
Although you don’t know me, I am friends with Ron and Artie. I too have learned to write and release some of the pain. It has been over 10 years since I lost my daughter, complications of cancer. We will be together again 🙂
Hello Ted,
I’m so sorry it took me so long to see your comment and respond to it. Thank you for your heart-felt words. While 10 years, or 7 in my case, can seem like a lifetime ago, I know if you’re like me it can still feel like yesterday that we lost our precious angel who went to heaven. I’m with you in know that we are both lucky because when we leave this earth, our children will be waiting for us with their arms spread open wide to welcome us into heaven one day. Personally, I can’t wait for the moment, but I know when that time comes it means that God has finished His plans for me on this earth.
I’m glad you were able to find writing as I have. It’s not always easy to write because sometimes it’s so hard I have tears streaming down my face. However, it feels good to do it and helps me a lot.