I think about how time can be more precious than most really think about or even care to think about. Because if we think about how precious time really is we then begin to realize that it is not infinite. We only have a limited amount of time, each and everyone of us, here on this earth. When our time is up, it is up. There is no amount of begging or pleading that can keep us here or those that we love. I can remember sitting in the hospital at the beginning of her getting sick and just … [Read more...]
On our way to Hawaii
I sit on our flight to Hawaii and think about our beloved baby girl Mari who left us in July to go to heaven before her time. I know some people will say that it must have been her time because she is gone. In my heart, and my soul, and my mind it was not yet her time. Her time would have been after daddy and mommy were gone and not a day before. Daddy and I are going to Hawaii today because of a dear, loving uncle of mine who gave to us hotel accommodations for a one bedroom condo for 11 days … [Read more...]
A Dedication to My Other Half
This is dedicated to the man I love with all of my heart. I write this for the one man in my life that has shown me what love is supposed to look like. We have our good days and we definitely have our bad ones as well. We have times of happiness and times of trial. But mostly we just have each other. The love we have for each other runs so deep, so strong it is hard to describe. To trust him is like nothing else one could experience. I trust him fully. I know he will always be there for me. I … [Read more...]
What if I could have what I wanted
What would tomorrow bring if life could be the way we want it. First, Mari would be here. She would never have gotten sick to begin with. She would have stayed perfectly healthy. She would be laughing, and playing, and simply being Mari. She would watch one of her favorite shows or one of her favorite movies and then start to flap her arms in excitement because she is just so darn excited she doesn’t know what to do with herself. She would still be here to let us know when she is hungry … [Read more...]
Stop and Think
I wish sometimes people would really think before they say something. It seems like I hear more times than not, “She’s in a better place.” I wonder if people HONESTLY think this makes us feel better. Yes, logically they are right. But to be blunt, WHO CARES. I am human and selfish by nature. I want my daughter back. I want her right here. It does not matter than she is technically in a better place. I miss her so much and now there is a whole in my heart that will never heal. It will never … [Read more...]
The holidays…
Everyone talks about how the holidays are so hard that first year. I can honestly say that you just do not even look forward to them what so ever. Thanksgiving is literally right around the corner; only three days away. When I think of Thanksgiving I always think about how you are supposed to be thankful for what has happened in your life in the last year. I am sure there are things that I should be thankful for in the last year but they are so overshadowed by the obvious. How can I be … [Read more...]
Army Drill Team
I thought it would be neat to share this with everyone. There are not a lot of things that put a smile on my face here recently but I thought this was pretty neat. I wanted to share it with everyone so you can all enjoy it as much as I did in person. I hope you enjoy. I took the video while we were at Keith's annual training conference last weekend. Please post your comments and tell me what you think. Also, towards the very beginning there is a small 2 to 3 second section where the sound … [Read more...]
True Friendship
It amazes me how you find out who your true friends really are. While she was in the hospital we asked people to pray for Mari to get better. And from there it became a snowball effect. We had people praying for her and us all across the country. I would not be surprised at all if there were over a half a million people who were praying for Mari and Keith and I during this time. When Mari died there were tons of people who were there to support Keith and me. Anyone from family, to close … [Read more...]
4 Months…
It’s been 4 months since the loss of our beloved baby girl. 4 MONTHS!!! How can that be? It does not seem possible that just 4 short months ago we had made a decision to permanently take our daughter off of life support and let her go. Who would have ever thought that something in this life could ever be THIS hard. No one can ever imagine what it is like because we are not capable. As parents, it would drive us nuts. It would hurt everyday over something that probably will never even happen to … [Read more...]
Communication, How Hard Is It Really?
I wish I understood the secret to good communication. It does not matter whether it is verbal communication, silent communication, or through someone’s body language. In marriage it is vital. Without good communication you basically have nothing. You basically have a lifeless marriage. The only way a marriage will survive is through good communication. When you are grieving for the loss of your daughter you find out just how hard it can become to communicate between a husband and wife when … [Read more...]
