You might be thinking that the five things are going to be your stereotypical answers. Yet, the five things might shock you as the word "happy" rarely, if ever, is correlated to these five things: Our Weaknesses Insults Hard Times Suffering Calamities Who in their right might would think these five things can bring any sort of happiness? Certainly not me, at least in the world's view of happiness. However, as a believer, aren't we told to do just this? It says in 2 … [Read more...]
Protected: Have You Ever Felt Lonely?
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Motivation… Or the Lack There of
Motivation. I can be a tricky thing to conquer (especially when all motivation has failed you thus far). You know in your heart you want to do this (whatever it is) and nothing you say or do moves you forward to do it. It's rather irritation quite frankly. For me, I have a couple of things I want to be continuously motivated to do but I'm simply not: Writing and a Personal Quiet Time After Mari died writing became cathartic for me. I had constant ideas floating around my head. However, … [Read more...]
It’s Time to Stand Strong
I haven't felt like doing my personal quiet time for a while now. Ever since I got sick where my stomach felt nauseated for over two months last August. I just have no desire to do it at all anymore. I've prayed about it but the desire is still not there. Well, I decided to spend the last couple of hours literally going through many, many reading plans on bible.com. They have tons to choose from and probably add more to their database all the time. I have now saved over 80 different plans … [Read more...]
Life’s Too Short
As I sit here and look outside my upstairs window, the landscape is blanketed in a snowy winter wonderland. While we slept last night, snow fell, leaving about 3 inches on the ground. The trees are covered in the beautiful purity the snow brings. It’s December 1. Christmas is only days away now and we are in full-fledged shopping mode to get all the gifts for the ones we love. As this time of year always comes around, Mari is never too far from my mom. She never far from my thoughts, but, … [Read more...]
Knowing when a joke isn’t funny
I think back to the last time I wrote something on here and it was for Mari's 14th birthday back in December. In only two and a half short months my life permanently changed seven years ago. July will always hold a place in my life of sadness. However, at least I have hope because I know through the life, death and resurrection of Jesus that I will get to see her again one day. I feel blessed that I am a believer because then I know I will get to see her again once I join her in … [Read more...]
Happy Birthday Mariana. You’re 15 Today (or you would’ve been :( ) #acfw #lossofchild
I think back to 15 years ago today and my world was about to permanently change. Right now it’s 10:15 a.m., Alaskan time, but in the Chicago area it’s one fifteen in the afternoon. At this point, the doctor had started the Pitocin and I was about three hours into delivering Mariana. I was a little less than six hours away from giving birth to her. She took us from being a two to a three. Our little miracle was coming into the world. Little did we know that only eight-and-a-half short years later … [Read more...]
Going through Mari’s stuff
Over the last couple of weeks I’ve started going through Mari’s stuff. I still remember the day we went into the house we’d been renting and sat there packing up every single item that either was Mari’s or we needed for her. Nothing got thrown away. Even her juice cups and light switch covers all got saved. At that point, Mari may have been gone about two to two-and-a-half months. I felt like if I threw something away belonging to her, somehow it’s like I was throwing her away. My grief wouldn’t … [Read more...]
Seeing the Gift
Wow, it's hard to believe that Mari's book is done. I entered the last of the edits to part 2 and sent it off to my editor (my dear sweet friend Deirdre). This day has been almost six years in the making. A week from tonight I will be on a plane heading toward Chicago as I go visit family. But even bigger than this is the reason I'm heading out that way to begin with. ACFW (American Christian Fiction Writers) is having their annual writing conference September 25-27 in St. Louis, MO. I'm … [Read more...]
Our website has an addition to the header
I had to share something I'm excited about. Almost a year ago I had a major overhaul of the design of Mari's website redone to give it a fresher, more professional look. At the time when the facelift commenced we were getting ready to move and I didn't really have time to find a picture I thought might look good to add to the header. So the designer installed one with a picture on for the time being until we could get to Alaska and I'd have more time to really find some pictures I thought that … [Read more...]
