What a concept. Finding solitude can be difficult sometimes, especially if you are married and have kids at home. There always seems to be some kind of interruption that can stop you in the middle of whatever you are doing. Or sometimes we do it to ourselves. The phone rings and you feel you must answer it. The TV is on and just can’t break away from whatever is on. The radio is on and you just can’t stop singing along to the music. Or a million and one other distractions that interrupt for what … [Read more...]
Day 125: Approval
That one little word, approval, can mean so much to someone. To know that someone approves of something you have said or done. It gives you the confidence you might not have had otherwise. I think back on the time during the time when Mari was in the hospital. When she had made it to her fourth and final hospital I was told by one of the nurses about CarePages. She told me it was a way to keep family and friends updated on Mari and how she was doing. I couldn’t wait to get started. We had so … [Read more...]
Day 124: Breaking Glass: Metaphor and Symbols
In life, it seems so many of try to come our grief and pain to someone else’s. Our tragedy to theirs. The thing is that even if the tragedies sound similar in nature, no two are the same. I remember going to a wake a few months after my daughter had passed. The may be long but here goes: My husband’s sister’s husband’s (David’s) grandfather had passed away. Both David’s grandmother and the grandfather had come to Mari’s wake. Basically his whole family came by to pay their respects. I … [Read more...]
Day 123: An Empty Swimming Pool
Life. The unexpectable waiting around any corner for us to come and find it. Yet, so many of us fight the unknown. It can scare the you-know-what out of us, and its even worse for those we affectionately call “control freak.” It’s in their nature to try to stay in control of everything. However, life has a way of deciding when and where it will take us. It’s like a pool that sits right in your backyard. You know it like the back of your hand. You swim in it every day as it brings you … [Read more...]
Day 122: Fiction vs. Nonfiction
I think back to the day while Mari was in the hospital and I told someone that whether Mari made it or if she passed I was thinking about writing a book about her life. I’m not exactly sure why I would have thought to do something like this as I definitely didn’t believe I was a writer. After she passed and a little time had passed, I decided to write a book about her life. The only drawback to all of this is I had no idea what I was doing. My husband tried to help me with editing it the best … [Read more...]
Day 121: Life Rafts
Life rafts can come to mean so many different things to different people. For me, my life rafts come from my Heavenly Father. He knows when I’m about to drown. It’s in these moments He gives me a life raft, in other words, He carries me through whatever is happening in my life at that time. When Mari got sick and we started on our very long sixteen day journey that felt like the worst roller coast I’d ever been on, and I love roller coasters. It’s like I couldn’t wait for the terrible ride to … [Read more...]
My 365 Day Journey
Well, I posted a few days ago that I was ready to get back to my 365 journey but things came up and it just wasn't possible. However, I went to open my document tonight where I write my posts and found two I had written about 3 months ago. Starting tomorrow they will begin to post. As for new ones, well they are in the works. With the move and then trying get unpack as well as preparing for the school year has taken so much time. For the most part everything is done (expect the darn unpacking … [Read more...]
Starting up again
Well, it has been a couple of months since doing my 365 day writing quest. It was a much-needed break. Mari's five-year mark for being gone has come and gone. It's hard to believe it's already been five years. Time certainly does slowly begin to dull the ache that once felt like an open never-ending bleeding wound. I know that for the rest of my life I will continue to mourn the loss of my daughter. There will still be those days where the hurt rears its ugly head as I ball my eyes out. But … [Read more...]
Day 120: Writing the Event
There an old adage in writing about ‘show don’t tell.’ I’d never heard of this personally before I started to write my first fiction book. Even when I was writing the original book about my daughter I was being told to add fiction elements to her story. I’d never understood exactly what that meant until I made my first attempt. When I submitted it for comments, I was told that it was much better but I knew I needed to go deep to really convey what I was trying to say. One day I had an idea … [Read more...]
Day 119: Stillness
For me, I like to write in complete silence. No TV on. No music playing in the background. This is what works for me. My mind is clear. The words flow forth. I tend to get distracted if anything is happening around me. Writing in silence helps me to be a better writer. It’s the stillness around me that helps my creative juices to really flow forth. Sometimes as a parent we need that stillness, or quiet time, away from our children. It’s not that we don’t love them or don’t want them. We just … [Read more...]
