Because knowing Mari and seeing the joy she brought to so many people in their lives was priceless to watch. I think Mari was the quintessential meaning behind joy. I don't think there was a day in Mari's life where she wasn't happy. She could make the saddest person smile with her innocence and charm. Did Mari experience joy like the rest of us? No, she experienced joy in a more pure way. Hers didn't have ulterior motives. She had joy simply because she was happy. How many people can … [Read more...]
I is for independence
As Mari's independence always sprang forth with everything she did. Mari's independence never ceased to amaze those around her. She loved being able to do things on her own like climbing the spiral staircase outside to get to the roof to go dancing on it. Or to find the moment when I wasn't looking to open the window, open the screen, then climb through said window to go dancing in the street. Or flip the tall green laundry hamper upside down so she could climb on top to get to the key that … [Read more...]
H is for heal
Because losing Mari has been the hardest thing I've ever been through but with time my wounded heart has slowly begun to heal. When someone said that losing a child is the hardest thing anyone would have to deal with, that couldn't be more of an understatement. Mari died four and a half years ago and sometimes it still feels like yesterday. The pain can be so raw that I sob. The tears pour from my eyes. Even though four and a half years may seem like a while, it really isn't. I know that … [Read more...]
G is for giving
As you can't help giving your heart to Mari as she enters it for good. It never seemed to amaze me how captivating our daughter was. Here laughter could draw in almost anyone. It was infectious. I loved when she was sitting in her high chair eating and out of the blue she would start to giggle. You looked at where you thought she was but there wasn't anything there. She sort of had this far off look. She had escaped into Mari's world. I can imagine what her world was like as she was … [Read more...]
F is for Faith
Mari's cousin Faith was always the one to take care of Mari even though Faith was four years younger than her. Faith came into this world as a sweet beautiful little girl who grew into Mari's surrogate big sister even though she was younger. When we would come to visit Keith's mom and dad, Faith would bring Mari into her room and try her very best to force Mari to play with her. Here's the thing. No one could force Mari to do anything she didn't want to without Mari fighting you tooth and … [Read more...]
E is for Energy
You shake your head at all the energy one little girl exuded. Mari's infallible energy never ceased to amaze any of us. She could run through the house dancing, singing, both at the same time. She wasn't picky. Mari truly didn't care what other people thought of her. She'd run around at school, church, the store or any place that had a floor. So basically everywhere. I remember one day after the church service watching Mari in her normal exuberant self run all around making her Mari … [Read more...]
D is for Dare-Devil
Because Mari's inner dare-devil loved to dance on roofs or go dancing in the street. Mari had one of the most carefree attitudes of anyone I knew. She had no fear, or understanding, of trying something she shouldn't. When Keith was stationed at the DeKalb recruiting station, we lived in a four bedroom townhouse. At the time I had my office desk in our living room. It faced the window. One day I was sitting at it doing my business and all of a sudden I saw a foot appear on the roof from … [Read more...]
C is for caring
When you learn that caring about someone else is more important than anything you could do for yourself. Sometimes it can be hard to put someone before ourselves. We are human and we are innately selfish. It takes a conscientious effort to put others before ourselves. But when a women gets pregnant, there is shift. We now have a growing little one we carry inside our bellies. Our focus shifts from ourselves to the little one. I remember the day I was walking through Wal-Mart with my … [Read more...]
B is for Beautiful
The beautiful miracle we know as Mari. Keith and I were told we couldn't get pregnant the old-fashioned way. Between Keith having his issues and me having mine, we were told IVF was the only way I'd get preggers. I still remember sitting in a Piazza Hut with Keith, my mom, and her husband at the time. A few tables away sat a family with a baby that was big enough to sit in a high chair. I looked at him and yearned to have one of my own. Tears formed in my eyes. My mom looked where I was … [Read more...]
A is for Amazing
What an amazing little girl Mari was. My daughter had such an amazing way of being able to jump into your heart and stay forever. Mari didn't fit the stereotype for someone with autism. So much so that when she was two and attended the early intervention program that everyone kept saying she had autistic tendencies but she didn't have autism. She was tested in January 2003 by neuropsychologist. On February 5, my husband, Keith, and I were given the test results. Not only did Mari test on the … [Read more...]
