2020. Wow! Hard to believe we’re already twenty years into the new millennium. When I think back over the past twenty years, I’m amazed not at just what our country has gone through, but what I’ve personally gone through. Here in just under a month, Keith and I will celebrate our 26th wedding anniversary. Here’s a list of strikes against us to not succeed, or at least made things harder: The abuse in my childhood – all forms In and of itself, the abuse has been a primary culprit of … [Read more...]
Happy New Year #2020
Wow! 2020 is here. 2019 seemed to just fly by. I just looked back at the last post I did, and it was clear back on March 21, 2019. My desire to write has been non-existent. While I think about it quite often, I just never do it. I'm not sure why. After Mari died, I wrote all the time. It felt like I constantly had things I needed to jot down and write out to express how I was feeling. Now, Mari's been gone over 11 years. As a matter of fact, she would've turned 20 on December 29, just three … [Read more...]
Happy Birthday Mariana. You’re 15 Today (or you would’ve been :( ) #acfw #lossofchild
I think back to 15 years ago today and my world was about to permanently change. Right now it’s 10:15 a.m., Alaskan time, but in the Chicago area it’s one fifteen in the afternoon. At this point, the doctor had started the Pitocin and I was about three hours into delivering Mariana. I was a little less than six hours away from giving birth to her. She took us from being a two to a three. Our little miracle was coming into the world. Little did we know that only eight-and-a-half short years later … [Read more...]
Happy Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving. It's a time of year where families gather round their tables to eat a big feast of turkey, ham, yams, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, apple pie, pumpkin pie, or whatever family tradition yours might have. But before you eat, many families will go around the table and say what they are thankful for over the past year. Five years ago on this very day I remember how hard it was for me on that first Thanksgiving with Mari gone. (Click here to view the post from … [Read more...]
Birthdays
Birthdays. When we are young, a child, we can’t wait until that next birthday comes. The day after we have one we start counting down the days until our next one, just like Christmas. However, when we get older, typically after 21, birthdays just become another day where we turn older. They don’t mean as much. Well, two days ago it was my birthday. It was one of those significant ones. I turned 40. I was holding onto my thirty’s as long as I could. In fact, here is a little funny story. … [Read more...]
Memorial Day
This is a little late as far as posting when it was Memorial Day. Right now I am sitting in our temporary home while we start to the process of looking for a place to live. My husband and I got into Anchorage, Alaska just over 24 hours ago. We've been so excited to move here. The journey was long as we traveled both across the country by car and then a very long ferry boat ride. When my precious daughter passed away almost five years ago Memorial Day took on a whole new meaning for me. … [Read more...]
19 Years Today
It's hard to believe that nineteen years ago today my husband, Keith, and I went to the justice of the peace with our friends Tina Davis, Michael Brooks and his wife Courtney. They watched us as we took our vows and became husband and wife that day. The last nineteen years have been fraught with ups, down and one tragedy. Most marriages would have ended by now, probably ten times over. But each and every time we have persevered through it all. Do I or Keith take credit for this? No. It is … [Read more...]
A Sad Day
I was walking on my treadmill this morning like I do almost on a daily basis as I try to strengthen my hip. I had been reading a book by Lynette Bonner when my mother-in-law called. She just called to chat. My cell phone sat on the treadmill in front of me. I have the Fox News App on my iPhone. About an hour and ten minutes into talking to Mom and walking I get a news alert stating this: “BREAKING NEWS: Reports of Multiple Fatalities at Conn. Elementary School.” I told mom that there has … [Read more...]
The Tears of Mother’s Day
I sit here in my comfy cozy recliner at about 1am. I sit here thinking about Mari and knowing that when I wake up in the morning it is Mother’s Day. I have dreaded it all week. All it does for me know is remind me that I am a mom without her child on this earth any longer. I feel childless. I dread going to church tomorrow morning because all they will do there is wish all the mother’s a Happy Mother’s Day. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I think it is an important day. However, it will … [Read more...]
He’s back…
Keith got home last night after being gone for the last week on a business trip. I really missed him. Our dogs really missed him too. They like to act all goofy and nuts after he has been gone for any length of time. To be honest, they drive us crazy, especially our female boxer. Even though they drive you nuts you love them anyway. There is only one week (technically 6 days now) till our 17 year anniversary. It’s hard to believe it is already that close. Before you know it, you blink … [Read more...]
