I have to admit that when I write about anything personal that I try not to write something that might hurt my mom's feelings. For me, my writing is important to me and I try to be as free as I can. However, to put something down on paper that might later hurt my mom, even if what I say is true, I don't feel it's worth it to hurt her if I can help it. The bottom line is she's my mom and always will be. Has my life been this picture perfect life where my childhood was something other people … [Read more...]
V is for Vivacious
Mari always had a vivacious personality that made her seem larger than life. I think back on Mari's life and I love how it seemed like when she was in the room she filled the room with spunk and spontaneity. She could always find something to do, especially when it involved things she wasn't supposed to do. For example, white walls were her canvas. And she wasn't picky with the instrument to use as she used colored pencils, crayons, pens, permanent markers, regular markers. You name it. … [Read more...]
Day 78: Dimes in Ivory Soap
I really loved this one. To put it simply. Only I know my complete past. Only you know yours. Only every person out there today knows their complete past. So you might be saying, "So what." The thing is if you don't write down your past who will. There is a very high probability that unless you're someone like Lady Diana or Billy Graham that no one else will but you. It's just like Mari's story. I already know that unless I write it down that the chance of it ever being written is slim to … [Read more...]
U is for Unconditional
Mari showed everyone every day what true unconditional love really looked like. How much do we wish we could love someone unconditionally. I think the closest someone could truly love someone else this way is the parent/child relationship. When it came to Mari I loved her with all my heart. No matter how hard or difficult things could get I loved her. Sometimes in those moments of frustration you say things you don't mean. That is when the emotional roller coaster is leading the charge. If … [Read more...]
Day 77: Why Write?
I love this question. Why do I write? It's simple really. I do it because I've grown to love it and couldn't imagine my life without it now. I write when I'm sad. I write when I'm happy. I write when I have news to share. For me it has become an extension of who I am. I think, in a way, people who read what I write have a view into who I am as a person. I've become happier as a person. I think back to the day I started this site. I was so sad. Grief engulfed my body. I was missing my … [Read more...]
T is for Time
Mari's time may not have been long on this earth but the impression she made on those around her will last forever. When we think about a young child dying, the first thought that naturally comes to mind is they're too young too dye or they're time was too short or they aren't supposed to die before me. We are human and in our brains we can't wrap it around how not just a child, but any child for that matter, could die. Our hearts break any time we hear of one passing. Mari was no … [Read more...]
S is for Serious
Seriously, Mari was anything but serious. Autism. In and of itself is some pretty serious stereotypes. Children with autism don't show emotions, especially smiling and absolutely no laughing or giving of hugs. Eye contact. It doesn't happen. Concentration. Almost nonexistent. There are others as well but these ones are typically at the top of the list. I smile because not only did Mari have severe classic autism (on a scale of 1 to 10, Mari was between an 8 or 9), but she broke the mold … [Read more...]
Day 76: Writers Gnashing Teeth
Well, today's topic is interesting. I don't think I've ever ground my teeth. Maybe other writers have. I'm guessing they might do it when they are putting down to paper that next important scene. Or maybe that next blog post. When I think of gnashing teeth I think about what the Bible says about those who are unbelievers once they die and they go to hell. It says there will be gnashing of teeth due to the severity of how bad it will be to go there. All I can say about myself is that I'm glad … [Read more...]
Day 75: Signs and Messages from Above
Are there actually signs or messages from above? Do they actually lead us down a path if we choose to follow? Are they there so obvious that if you choose not to follow it you come to regret that later? Are you too stubborn to follow them because it's not according to plans we have for ourselves? I think the answer almost every time is a great big yes. We are all selfish by nature. Of course we think about ourselves and what we think will be best for us. But no matter how great or how grand … [Read more...]
R is for Remember
We will always remember our little angel who could flap her little wings and take flight in Mari's world. Remember. There is so much to remember about Mari. Her ability to make everything into a chewie toy. Whether she had her chewie tube on or her shirt sleeve, she found some way to chew on something. Preacakes. You might be wondering what in the world those are. They were Mari's word for pancakes. She loved them so much. She knew the ingredients needed to make them and she helped me to … [Read more...]
