I went and visited a website of someone I knew in our grief group back in Chicago today. The reason I visited it was because on the old blogger site I had started this one on (which is technically still up and running, don’t ask me why, it does redirect people to here however :) ) I have this woman’s website listed under Blogs of Importance. Under the listing, it shows a title of the most recent blog post. This one was labeled, “Letting go.” I thought that meant she was letting go of her … [Read more...]
Needing prayer please
It has come to my attention by a close friend that I may need to rewrite some of what I wrote below. My husband is the love of my life and in no way do I want to shed him in a bad light. If I have done that I am truly sorry. I will put *** by the part where I have rewritten this post so you know where to start if you are looking for the update. Thank you. __________________________________________________________________________________________________ I am reaching out right now to all my … [Read more...]
A Special Sneak Peak
Hello everyone. I have uploaded a special sneak peak for Mari's book. It is the first two chapter's of the book. I am looking for honest feedback from those who are willing to read it. I hope you enjoy it. https://www.createspace.com/Preview/1082508 Here is a preview of the finally chapter as well as possibly making it into a children's book with illustrations. Please tell me what you think: https://www.createspace.com/Preview/1082512 … [Read more...]
The Tears of Mother’s Day
I sit here in my comfy cozy recliner at about 1am. I sit here thinking about Mari and knowing that when I wake up in the morning it is Mother’s Day. I have dreaded it all week. All it does for me know is remind me that I am a mom without her child on this earth any longer. I feel childless. I dread going to church tomorrow morning because all they will do there is wish all the mother’s a Happy Mother’s Day. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I think it is an important day. However, it will … [Read more...]
Missing Her…
I sit here thinking about my beloved angel today and how much she is missed. I was looking at one of her pictures up on the wall and at how truly beautiful she was at just 5. Then I started to look at some of her other pictures. This got me to thinking about what she would have looked like once she was an adult. I think she would have been one of those adults that when people looked at her they would have thought she had such natural beauty. Unfortunately, we will never get to know. All we … [Read more...]
Winter
Winter has arrived bringing its fury; It’s cold, it’s wet the snow is our blanket Winter is so dreary, it brings about sadness; The sadness no one wants yet it comes any way Winter can be and almost always is depressing; It’s hard to get through when there are so many bleak days ahead Winter seems like it will never end; The days merge one into another Yet one day, the single piece of grass pops through; The green against the white is quite a sight to behold Spring … [Read more...]
Singing…
January 2 I sit here in church service. Right away they start by singing. The tears start to well up and I have to leave. I still have a hard time just being able to sing in church. It is so hard for me. Somehow it just makes me miss Mari all the more. She would always love the singing portion of church service. She would sing in her own special way. She would sometimes flap her arms in excitement. She truly loved the singing. I think I just truly miss that with her not here … [Read more...]
Justin Bieber
December 22 Today ended up starting as a good day. I felt good about it. I went to work like I normally do. I was putting away my freight and I had these Justin Bieber backpacks I was putting out. As I am putting them out I start to think of my dearest friend Shelly’s daughter Lexi. Shelly tells me how much Lexi loves Justin Bieber. Then I got to thinking about how Mari would be the same age as Lexi. Not that Mari would have ever gotten into Just Bieber or anything. It’s just the … [Read more...]
Missing the imporant moments
December 13, 2010 I am driving in my car this morning and the roads are kind of nasty from the snow we got yesterday. I finally plug in my iPhone so I can listen to my iPod. Last night on the way home from work I decided to play Steven Curtis Chapman’s CD “Beauty Will Rise.” This CD was written and created after the tragic death of his youngest daughter Maria. Maria passed away on May 21, 2008, only a little less than 2 months before Mari did. His CD is one of the ways he dealt with … [Read more...]
Missing her…
December 6, 2010 Missing Mari, what does that really mean anyway? It means you think about her. For me it means all the time. I don’t know if I’ve had a day without thinking about her at least once. Of course as we get closer to her 11th birthday, it seems more and more often. Thinking about her leads to missing her. Missing her leads to the ache I feel in my heart. In the end, this leads to wishing she was here. Everyone says she is in a better place. Even Keith thinks this as … [Read more...]
