It kind of amazes me how I started writing. It has taken me a while to even admit that I am writer (out loud). It sounded so foreign to me yet now it is the exact opposite. I am about to write something that for some may come across the wrong way. I need everyone to understand that I truly love my daughter and I would give anything to have her back. She was my pride and joy and that will never change. However, God didn’t plan for her to stay on this earth longer than her eight and half years … [Read more...]
A hole in your heart
When someone close to you dies it leaves a hole in your heart. What I tell people is that a hole was left by our daughter. As the years go by it will get smaller and smaller but it will never completely be filled again until we are in heaven seeing each other again someday. For me, I do not look at the hole as something God is supposed to fill. I think we all have little holes for different tragedies, no matter how big or small, that have happened in our lives. If the hole was to be filled by … [Read more...]
Just sitting here thinking…
I was sitting here thinking on my way home from work today how I don’t write as I used to. Here recently it has all been about either writing Mari’s book or now attempting my first hand at writing something fiction. However, I have been really thinking about Mari here recently as her three year mark approaches. It is hard to believe that it has been almost three years. It still doesn’t seem possible. Mari will always continue to live on in my heart. I hope through her story she will also … [Read more...]
Women’s Retreat third entry
The start of a new day. It is a beautiful day but to look outside you wouldn’t know it. Our cabin is off the mountain side and you can see all the other beautiful log cabins around us USUALLY. This morning looking outside our bedroom window everything is in a major fog. It is interesting how it can just come and envelope the area like this. Fog is kind of representative of our own lives. Everything can be beautiful and then all of a sudden something happens in your life and the fog can … [Read more...]
Marriage
What do you do when you see something falling apart and you can’t seem to do anything about it? Do you do nothing? Do you try to fix it? If you try to fix it, how long should you go before you give up or do you give up at all? When is enough “enough”? There are so many things in this life that you either give up on so easily or we “try” to fix it but when it just gets too hard or takes too long we just stop. We give up. This is how many marriages fall apart today because, to put it … [Read more...]
Mari’s Dress
I’ve spent the day trying to unpack the spare bedroom/office area. It's such time consuming work. Once in a while I run into something that was Mari’s. For the most part, all of her stuff was packed away and is in the storage unit we rented as our place is just too small to hold all of our stuff until we get on-post housing. I was going through one of the boxes we'd packed back up after the movers just half-assed put our stuff everywhere and was a big mess. As I was going through this box, … [Read more...]
That Empty Spot
Have you ever wondered if something really existed or was it just in your mind? Something that seemed to be so real but then one day you wake up and it’s like it never was? That’s how I kind of feel sometimes. My new computer has Windows 7 and one of the new features with this operating system is how you can set up your computer’s desktop. I decided to have mine kind of like a slideshow. A new picture gets displayed every ten minutes. All of the ones I have chosen are of Mari. Well, … [Read more...]
Talking from the heart…
Today I sit here thinking about how life can turn out so differently than you could have expected. Keith and I went to church this morning like we have started to do on a more regular basis since the Sunday before Thanksgiving. We decided to just try Sunday School since I haven't been able to handle going to church service at that point. That very first Sunday going to our brand new class I broke down and told everyone about Mari. It's the Sunday before Thanksgiving so you can imagine what … [Read more...]
Mari’s Hospital Story
I wanted to share with everyone what I've been working on. I think most of you already know that I've decided to write a book about Mari's life and for those of you who don't, now you do. I have the first two chapters complete so far and now I have the thirteenth complete. The thirteenth chapter in her book is going to be her hospital stay. What I've done is taken what I wrote in her CarePages while she was in the hospital and edited it. I now wanted to share the edited version with all … [Read more...]
Did you know that Angels are among us?
Angels are from heaven, We already know. But where are they at, Only God knows. Sometimes they hide And do miracles so great, But sometimes their Right there in plain sight. How can we tell An angel is beside us? Look for the goodness And innocence all around. It may surprise you to find out that each one of us has our own, One that is there guiding And protecting us all day long. No it's no one you'd suspect Or even think of; However, to know they're all around Can … [Read more...]
