Memory. What’s in a memory? For some it can make them relish in the excitement of looking back on a day that brought them great happiness such as the day someone gets married or the birth of a child. For others, it can make them cower to the horrific images they are left with over a terrible event. For others, their memories are neither good nor are they bad. They view themselves as having a boring life and not much to think back on. And then for some their memories are bittersweet as they remember the one they loved and yet they are no longer here with them on this earth.
I have both the happy memories and the horrific memories. They are what have defined me as to who I am today. I would be a completely different person if not for the things that have happened in my past. And then I also have those bitter sweet memories. They are bittersweet because I think back on the life of my beautiful baby girl and no matter whether they are happy memories or nerve wracking memories, they are all beloved memories of my little angel now in heaven. Yet, that is all I have left now are those memories of her.
I will never get to create new memories as my life continues to move forward. I will always have the memories of what had been. I cherish those memories and I write about them as a way to help her memory continue to live in the hearts of others. By me continuing to talk about her, both the good and the bad, I am honoring her and the life she lived. Even now as I type this, it both puts a smile on my face as well as forming a tear in my eye.
I feel blessed that I was chosen to be Mari’s mom. Sometimes I wonder what God was doing when He chose me but then at the same time I know He knew what He was doing. Mari made me a better person. I am honored to have been her mom and so ever grateful and thankful that I do have the memories of her life and how I was so fortunate to have been a part of it.
This was so touching to my heart. Thank you for sharing a piece of Mari with me. I know she will always be with you.
hugs,
Chris S.
Thank you Chris for you very kind, sweet words. I’m glad I am able to share my inner most feelings with others and somehow my words touch people.
This is one of your best-written posts, I think. And it is very precious. I love how you said, “Sometimes I wonder what God was doing when He chose me but then at the same time I know He knew what He was doing.” That’s the hardest part, I believe; trusting Him to do what He knows will bring Him glory and eternally impact the hearts of those around us. I love how your bittersweet memories are soothed by your trust in God.
Sandi, thank you so much for your beautifully written comments. I so appreciate it and they mean so much to me.
biiiiiiiiiiiiig hug
Jack, thank you for the hug. {{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}} back at ya.
Thank you for sharing your bittersweet memories with us. I thank God for this wonderful gift of memory, something so special that we can relive special moments knowing our life has touched another and has special meaning. Peace and Blessings
Terrie, you are so right. I think we all have some kind of memories that make us happy yet sad at the same time. It is through the grace of God that we are able to find the peace we need to be able to see the good in everything.
It’s so hard to recall the bittersweet memories and the ones that are hard, and yet they are part of us just the same, make us who we are, and help us help others in the present.
Heather, you are so right. It is what shapes us and makes us into the person we are each and every day of our lives.
Thank you for this post, Kristena. I loved your comment about being blessed to have been chosen to be Mari’s mother. Very, very sweet. God bless you.
Carol, and I thank you for you kind words. They are so appreciated.
The Bible says we can comfort others with the same comfort God uses to comfort us. Not only are your memories a comfort to you because they keep Mari alive in your heart, but they also can minister comfort to others who have lost a child. May your ministry continue to be blessed.
Traci, thank you so very much for your kind words. My hope is the same that God will continue to bless the words coming out of my mouth to be able to touch others.
I can feel your heart coming through this post. Blessings as you continue to honor both your daughter and God.
Tracy, thank you for your kind words. I appreciate them so much.