It amazes me how one can mess up time when one does not want time to move forward anyways. Last month I thought Mari had been gone eight months. I even wrote about it. Then when it was getting closer to this month mark of her being gone, I started to think about it. There should only be three months until she has been gone for one year, but when I started to count there were 4 months. The math just did not add up. So last month she’d actually only been gone for seven months.

Why does it feel like time is flying by yet at the same time, time seems to be standing still. I mean, is that even possible. It feels that way.

I think at some point in everyone’s life we’ve all either talked about or wished we could invent a time machine. Mine would take me back to about a month before Mari got sick. To spend every waking moment I could with her before she got sick. I think I would even try to somehow prevent her from getting sick. I know it’s not possible but I so wish it could happen anyway.

We love you baby girl and just know that everyone misses you. You were such a light in so many people’s lives. You were your mommy’s everything and she hasn’t been whole since you’ve been gone. I love you and will see you again someday when it’s our time to be together again.