I sit here just thinking about our beautiful little Mari and how much I miss her. My dog Cody is by my feet playing with my cat Bandit. He is growling while the cat is hissing (believe it or not they are actually playing and DO like each other). While I sit here listening to them I just think of Mari. I think of how much I miss her and wish she was here beside me so I could hear her playing instead of my animals. I went on Otrib.com today just to see if anyone had responded to her dedication … [Read more...]
Thoughts…
I have a friend from my high school youth group that has a blog. I have her blog listed in my "Blogroll". She wrote something on December 3, 2008 that I felt was really profound and I made a comment on her blog. I hope she does not mind but I not only wanted to share what she wrote but I thought those that read my posts might want to read the comment I had made. This is the link to her post: http://hvoeltner.wordpress.com/2008/12/03/thoughts/ And this is what her post said: Wow, as I sit … [Read more...]
Remembering Mari, how sweet it really is!!
I sit here today actually feeling ok for the moment. It seems like most days are either ok or they are just sad and lonely. I was sitting here in my house yesterday and feeling utterly lonely. I was looking at Mari’s photos up on my mantel for her dedication wall. I sat here on my couch taking a break from my new website I have been trying to get up and running and was just looking. I thought about how it feels like just yesterday she was here. It feels like sometimes that she should be … [Read more...]
Suddenly and Out of the Blue, It Hits You
Tonight happens to be a hard night for me. It just literally came out the blue. Today seemed to be going fine. I have been working on my new website I hope to have up and running within the next month. I was watching my third movie for the day. All of the movies I watched today have been all happy, feel good movies. Keith and I were having a DiGiorno Garlic Bread Pepperoni pizza. I had just taken it out of the oven. And then I started thinking about when we lived in the house just previous … [Read more...]
Sitting Here Dazed and Confused
I sit here in a complete and utter daze right now. To think that it has been 6 months seems so overwhelming in the scope of things. I have gotten pretty bad about checking my mail. My husband went and got the mail from the mailbox today and brought in a huge stack. In that stack was a big manila envelope. It was from Mari’s teacher that she had from February 15, 2005 until December, 2007 right before Christmas break. Because I fought so hard for my precious baby girl I was able to get her into … [Read more...]
What do you say to someone who has lost a child?
It seems no one really know what to say to someone when that person has lost a child. You can tell that everyone around you is uncomfortable to talk about the child you have lost. It seems that they are always afraid of saying the wrong thing. I was listening to the radio this morning and there happened to be a small segment on how to cope with the loss of a child. For the most part, it did not apply to me because it was dealing with the loss of a child when you know that your child is … [Read more...]
Went to see Movie, It’s wasn’t supposed to be sad
It seems like in life it does not matter what we do or what we say, we can always be reminded of what we don’t want to be reminded of at all. Keith and I went to see a movie last night. I wanted to see a comedy because I needed something to pick me up and help me to laugh. So we looked at the preview for “Marley and Me”. The previews they show for this movie are hilarious and I will tell you that most of the movie will keep you in stitches laughing. It is such a cute movie. I do not want to ruin … [Read more...]
Our Angel In Heaven
Our angel in heaven How quick she must be If you can imagine She flew like a bee As soon as she arrived In heaven that first day You can just imagine How she wanted to play Can you just see her Dancing and singing While everyone around her Is laughing and swinging The clouds are no match As she wanted to paint So she took out her markers Just like a saint The clouds are her canvas, I know it’s hard to imagine But somehow she did it Like no one could fathom She wrote out in marker Her … [Read more...]
T’was the Night Before Our Lives Changed
T’was the night before our lives changed, forever in our house, No one could have known, not even a mouse. For our hopes hung in the balance with all human care, In the hopes that our prayers would be answered right there. The people who loved her went off to their beds, While they laid there and slept or prayed in their heads. And daddy had his hope, and mommy had her fears, Because the next morning might bring about our tears. We arose the next morning to hear so much clatter, As … [Read more...]
Back from Hawaii
I sit here on our flight from Hawaii back to Chicago. It amazes me how quickly this past week and a half went by. We had Christmas in Hawaii. For the first time in my life I was not excited about the holiday so many people always love and cherish. For me, it is just a reminder of what I am missing and how much I miss her. I sit here on our flight just trying not to cry. The pain is so deep and still so fresh. I know it has been over 5 months yet it still feels like yesterday that we lost her. … [Read more...]
