I've decided to try something new here. I want to be able to write a little something each day. Whether it's about the book I'm currently writing or just to say how my day was. I want to keep my readers up to date with everything. Today, I've mostly been writing posts for my daughter's dedication website (Mommy's Angel In Heaven). I love writing on there as that website has not only become apart of me but my soul. I get to openly share with people my thoughts and how I'm feeling at the time … [Read more...]
Day 124: Breaking Glass: Metaphor and Symbols
In life, it seems so many of try to come our grief and pain to someone else’s. Our tragedy to theirs. The thing is that even if the tragedies sound similar in nature, no two are the same. I remember going to a wake a few months after my daughter had passed. The may be long but here goes: My husband’s sister’s husband’s (David’s) grandfather had passed away. Both David’s grandmother and the grandfather had come to Mari’s wake. Basically his whole family came by to pay their respects. I … [Read more...]
I’m Back (Man It’s Been A Long Time)
Well, who knew that my break would have taken me this long. Since my last message we have moved to Anchorage, Alaska. Our nephew has gone back home to live with his biological mom. And now I'm back into my writing. It's been so exciting as I completely rewrote out a new outline for my book as I figured out how I needed to proceed forward. I've just started writing out the new scene's and rewriting several of the ones I already had as the book takes on a new turn. I'd like to start a writing … [Read more...]
Day 123: An Empty Swimming Pool
Life. The unexpectable waiting around any corner for us to come and find it. Yet, so many of us fight the unknown. It can scare the you-know-what out of us, and its even worse for those we affectionately call “control freak.” It’s in their nature to try to stay in control of everything. However, life has a way of deciding when and where it will take us. It’s like a pool that sits right in your backyard. You know it like the back of your hand. You swim in it every day as it brings you … [Read more...]
Starting up again
Well, it has been a couple of months since doing my 365 day writing quest. It was a much-needed break. Mari's five-year mark for being gone has come and gone. It's hard to believe it's already been five years. Time certainly does slowly begin to dull the ache that once felt like an open never-ending bleeding wound. I know that for the rest of my life I will continue to mourn the loss of my daughter. There will still be those days where the hurt rears its ugly head as I ball my eyes out. But … [Read more...]
Day 101: Waiting for the Train
We all have our ways of writing. Some write on a computer. Some write on paper. Some write in a journal. Some write on post-it notes. We each have our own unique way of doing things. When we do sit down to write do we allow ourselves to get into the moment to really take off like a freight train and everything flows smoothly out or are we trying to force something that may not be right for what is being written, especially writing a book. So far I'm the latter. If I'm feeling the story I'm … [Read more...]
Wow, Three Months Already
It's hard to believe that only three months ago I started my 365 day quest of writing on Mari's site. It's been really fun to do. In this past month we have been getting ready to move to Anchorage, Alaska, to start a new adventure. We've heard nothing but good things about living there. I can only imagine all the things we can do and see once we are there. I sit here on the couch in my in-laws house and it's kind of quiet and nice. I've missed being away from everyone so it's nice to know … [Read more...]
T is for Time
Mari's time may not have been long on this earth but the impression she made on those around her will last forever. When we think about a young child dying, the first thought that naturally comes to mind is they're too young too dye or they're time was too short or they aren't supposed to die before me. We are human and in our brains we can't wrap it around how not just a child, but any child for that matter, could die. Our hearts break any time we hear of one passing. Mari was no … [Read more...]
R is for Remember
We will always remember our little angel who could flap her little wings and take flight in Mari's world. Remember. There is so much to remember about Mari. Her ability to make everything into a chewie toy. Whether she had her chewie tube on or her shirt sleeve, she found some way to chew on something. Preacakes. You might be wondering what in the world those are. They were Mari's word for pancakes. She loved them so much. She knew the ingredients needed to make them and she helped me to … [Read more...]
Day 73: Starting Again and Again
I think we all have our times when we start something only to stop, then we come back and start again going through the cycle over and over. Whether it's a job where we start each day anew and by the time we are getting off we have our ending each day as well. Or if we start some new craft project like crocheting a blanket. Some people don't get easily bored. But if you're anything like me I can only go so long before I get bored with what I'm doing and I stop for a while only to start again … [Read more...]
