What would tomorrow bring if life could be the way we want it. First, Mari would be here. She would never have gotten sick to begin with. She would have stayed perfectly healthy. She would be laughing, and playing, and simply being Mari. She would watch one of her favorite shows or one of her favorite movies and then start to flap her arms in excitement because she is just so darn excited she doesn’t know what to do with herself. She would still be here to let us know when she is hungry … [Read more...]
The holidays…
Everyone talks about how the holidays are so hard that first year. I can honestly say that you just do not even look forward to them what so ever. Thanksgiving is literally right around the corner; only three days away. When I think of Thanksgiving I always think about how you are supposed to be thankful for what has happened in your life in the last year. I am sure there are things that I should be thankful for in the last year but they are so overshadowed by the obvious. How can I be … [Read more...]
True Friendship
It amazes me how you find out who your true friends really are. While she was in the hospital we asked people to pray for Mari to get better. And from there it became a snowball effect. We had people praying for her and us all across the country. I would not be surprised at all if there were over a half a million people who were praying for Mari and Keith and I during this time. When Mari died there were tons of people who were there to support Keith and me. Anyone from family, to close … [Read more...]
4 Months…
It’s been 4 months since the loss of our beloved baby girl. 4 MONTHS!!! How can that be? It does not seem possible that just 4 short months ago we had made a decision to permanently take our daughter off of life support and let her go. Who would have ever thought that something in this life could ever be THIS hard. No one can ever imagine what it is like because we are not capable. As parents, it would drive us nuts. It would hurt everyday over something that probably will never even happen to … [Read more...]
Mari’s Spirit
I sit here looking at Mari’s picture. I see her school picture from last October. It has only been a little over a year since her last fall school picture. I still have most of our pictures that had been up on the wall in our other house still in boxes from the move but her school picture that was taken on the Wednesday before Easter this past year is in there too. Just think, right now it is like she is still growing up. They are recent. They still seem new. Yet think about how it will be in 5 … [Read more...]
My Thoughts
Recently I was approached and asked if I would like to put my feelings and thoughts about Mari into words here on this blog. I guess the best place to start is at the beginning. Mari's mother and I met over 2 yrs ago and created an instant bond because my son Brian (who is 9 now) has autism also. So as our friendship grew we would rely on each other for support by comparing our experiences no matter what time of day or night regardless of the different time zones. You see I live here in … [Read more...]
Loneliness, how it must feel
The loneliness I feel is like nothing else I have ever experience in my life. It does not matter what I do or who I talk to it is always there. There are times when I can keep myself busy enough not to have to think about the true loneliness I feel but it always comes back. I sit here in my house all alone. I have my puppy sitting on my lap because he does not like to be alone. I have my kitten at my feet because he does not like to be alone. I am glad I have them because they at least keep … [Read more...]
Friendship at its best
I have a dear friend that I used to work with that I had not talked to in several months who recently just find out about what happened with Mari. I have truly missed talking to her. We both have our own lives and we had both become so busy with our own lives that we didn’t talk like we used to. I sent her an email the other day telling her among many others that I know that I had created this website in dedication to Mari. When she found out she decided to call me right away but you could … [Read more...]
Mari’s World – Can You Just Imagine
Today is a day without our baby girl. It seems like just yesterday that she went to be in heaven. It seem like I just said good bye. I remember that last day with longing before she went to the doctor. I felt so inconvenienced when the school called to tell me that she had a diarrhea. I felt they were making a big deal out of nothing. Who would have ever thought that what seemed like a day of inconvenience at the time would be a day I would take back in a heartbeat. Who would ever have thought … [Read more...]
Memories…
The Memories, they run so deep. They are so dear. What would we do in this life if we didn’t have the memories of those that we loved and then lost. I think we would be lost. There would be this black hole that would just suck us in. But then again, if we didn’t have memories, there would nothing to be missed. We would never understand or know what we were missing. The memories we have are so bitter sweet. We know that without the memories it might be easier. We know without the memories we … [Read more...]
