I sit here at 5:16 in the morning playing a game on Facebook. It is a game I have truly come to love to play. I play it on a daily basis. I introduced it to Keith and he plays it right along with me. It is nice to have something we both love playing together. Since I have started playing the game, I have not written anything. I sometimes feel like I am letting me or others down but it has been nice to just not have to think about things all the time. A little over 3 weeks ago I went in … [Read more...]
Sitting here thinking…
I sit here thinking about Mari. I think I always think about her just sometimes more than others. But right now I am really missing her. I was talking to my dad a couple of days ago. His cell decided to call me out of the blue. When I answered all you could hear in the background was rustling around. So you knew right then that he did not call and the cell phone had a mind of its own. So I called him back just in case. He said that he must of accidently pushed the speed dial button … [Read more...]
Tangible Things
The only thing tangible left are pictures (and a couple of videos) taken of Mari from the time she was born until the day she died (literally). We have them of her while she was in the hospital when she was first born and we have them of her in the hospital when she was dying. It’s almost like it represents the cycle of life everyone goes through. We all are born and we all must die someday when our time is up on this earth. But with Mari, her time just seemed so short. It seems like that … [Read more...]
July Sucks!
You might be asking, "But why does July suck?" I mean, after all, July has so many good things about it right? Like the 4th of July and celebrating our nation's birthday. The fireworks you can either do together with family, friends and acquaintances or to go see one of those big fireworks shows that the cities or military installations put on for us. It's summertime. It's warm. People are going on vacations. Everyone seems to be having fun (or at least trying to ;;) ). There are places to go … [Read more...]
The Start of a New Day
Today is the start of a new day. It’s a day I have not had to do in many years (eight, almost nine, years to be precise). It’s a day I have not been ready for before now. In the past it would have been a day I dreaded but now I am really looking forward to it. It’s a day where I take the first step, of what I am sure are going to be many, in getting a job on post (Fort Knox). Before Mari died, as most of you know by now I was a stay at home mom taking caring of our one and only child. … [Read more...]
When life throws you a curve ball (man, all I wanted was a fast one :) )
All I can say is, “Boy what a night last night.” Keith and I typically go to bed, what might seem for most people, rather late. It seems like if we are starting to get ready for bed by 11 o’clock or midnight that it is an early night for us. We both are such night owls as we usually are going to bed around 1 or 2 in the morning and sometimes even later. Well, last night did not start off as a good night once we got upstairs and settling down for the night. As it was, I was very tired. … [Read more...]
It Happens At the Strangest Time
I am sure you all can imagine that Mari is never really far from my mind. Today is no different. Most of you know by now that I have started working out again. I set my alarm for 5am this morning (yeah, that is the correct time) so I could be to the gym by 6:30am for my very first personal training session. My personal trainer is Jennifer. Man she kicked my booty this morning. So much so that she cut our session 7 minutes early as my body was completely worn out (man am I out of … [Read more...]
It’s that time of year…
It’s that time of year again. That time of year everyone dreads yet some look forward to. What time of year is it you may ask? Well it is TAX TIME. For most people this is just a time of year that is required by our federal government to report how much money we have made during the year and to try to find as many deductions as the IRS will allow to either pay the least amount of money possible, or, for those that are lucky, a refund. Every year I would start getting all my documents … [Read more...]
Talking from the heart…
Today I sit here thinking about how life can turn out so differently than you could have expected. Keith and I went to church this morning like we have started to do on a more regular basis since the Sunday before Thanksgiving. We decided to just try Sunday School since I haven't been able to handle going to church service at that point. That very first Sunday going to our brand new class I broke down and told everyone about Mari. It's the Sunday before Thanksgiving so you can imagine what … [Read more...]
Contemplating Christmas
T'is the season of joy, happiness & love, or at least that is how it used to be. Last year, what would've been our first Christmas without Mari, we got to escape and go to Hawaii. I didn't have to deal with the glaring reality of her not being here. Now this year has come. It's technically our second Christmas season. But the reality is so different. This is like it's our first one without her instead. It feels like ever since Thanksgiving Day I've been just getting by. Almost like … [Read more...]
