I sit on our flight to Hawaii and think about our beloved baby girl Mari who left us in July to go to heaven before her time. I know some people will say that it must have been her time because she is gone. In my heart, and my soul, and my mind it was not yet her time. Her time would have been after daddy and mommy were gone and not a day before. Daddy and I are going to Hawaii today because of a dear, loving uncle of mine who gave to us hotel accommodations for a one bedroom condo for 11 days … [Read more...]
Mari’s Song
I wrote this the other day while sitting on our flight from Chicago to Honolulu. I wrote this song to the melody of this song: I love you Lord And I lift my voice To worship you Oh my soul rejoice Take joy my King In what You hear May it be a sweet, sweet voice In Your ear This is my song to Mari called "I Love You Mari": I love you Mari And I sing to you I miss you now And forever more Take joy my daughter In all that you do May our love show you That you are our everything To love you … [Read more...]
What if I could have what I wanted
What would tomorrow bring if life could be the way we want it. First, Mari would be here. She would never have gotten sick to begin with. She would have stayed perfectly healthy. She would be laughing, and playing, and simply being Mari. She would watch one of her favorite shows or one of her favorite movies and then start to flap her arms in excitement because she is just so darn excited she doesn’t know what to do with herself. She would still be here to let us know when she is hungry … [Read more...]
4 Months…
It’s been 4 months since the loss of our beloved baby girl. 4 MONTHS!!! How can that be? It does not seem possible that just 4 short months ago we had made a decision to permanently take our daughter off of life support and let her go. Who would have ever thought that something in this life could ever be THIS hard. No one can ever imagine what it is like because we are not capable. As parents, it would drive us nuts. It would hurt everyday over something that probably will never even happen to … [Read more...]
Loneliness, how it must feel
The loneliness I feel is like nothing else I have ever experience in my life. It does not matter what I do or who I talk to it is always there. There are times when I can keep myself busy enough not to have to think about the true loneliness I feel but it always comes back. I sit here in my house all alone. I have my puppy sitting on my lap because he does not like to be alone. I have my kitten at my feet because he does not like to be alone. I am glad I have them because they at least keep … [Read more...]
Friendship at its best
I have a dear friend that I used to work with that I had not talked to in several months who recently just find out about what happened with Mari. I have truly missed talking to her. We both have our own lives and we had both become so busy with our own lives that we didn’t talk like we used to. I sent her an email the other day telling her among many others that I know that I had created this website in dedication to Mari. When she found out she decided to call me right away but you could … [Read more...]
Mari’s World – Can You Just Imagine
Today is a day without our baby girl. It seems like just yesterday that she went to be in heaven. It seem like I just said good bye. I remember that last day with longing before she went to the doctor. I felt so inconvenienced when the school called to tell me that she had a diarrhea. I felt they were making a big deal out of nothing. Who would have ever thought that what seemed like a day of inconvenience at the time would be a day I would take back in a heartbeat. Who would ever have thought … [Read more...]
Memories…
The Memories, they run so deep. They are so dear. What would we do in this life if we didn’t have the memories of those that we loved and then lost. I think we would be lost. There would be this black hole that would just suck us in. But then again, if we didn’t have memories, there would nothing to be missed. We would never understand or know what we were missing. The memories we have are so bitter sweet. We know that without the memories it might be easier. We know without the memories we … [Read more...]
Mommy’s Dream
I once had a dream I had written down about Mari, my beloved little angel. I wrote this as a movie clip of what I envision Mari's Wedding Day could one day be like. No, she was not like a typical child and this dream probably would never have come true but I knew that one day the home business I had would be able to help me at least give Mari all the best care and education I could. We all know that Mari's time was cut extremely short but here is the dream I had for my little angel... We are … [Read more...]
I Will Always Remember Mari…
I will always remember Mari’s method of transportation… running. I will always remember Mari’s laughter, trust, and innocence. I will always remember Mari’s favorite foods. In the context of the 23d Psalm, “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil,” I picture death saying: Who is that running through my valley? She is supposed to walk! And why is she laughing? She is supposed to be in fear!! What magic marker? Where did she get a magic … [Read more...]
