I wrote this the other day while sitting on our flight from Chicago to Honolulu. I wrote this song to the melody of this song: I love you Lord And I lift my voice To worship you Oh my soul rejoice Take joy my King In what You hear May it be a sweet, sweet voice In Your ear This is my song to Mari called "I Love You Mari": I love you Mari And I sing to you I miss you now And forever more Take joy my daughter In all that you do May our love show you That you are our everything To love you … [Read more...]
A Poem to Mari
This is my very first poem I have ever written. I know it is not like some of the great poetry out there today by some of the greats but it is from the bottom of my heart and in complete dedication to my beautiful baby girl. I love you sweetie and miss you very much. When I lie awake at night All I do is think of you as my guiding light You helped me to see That my life became complete because of thee To have known you Is to have loved you And to have loved you Is to miss you I can envision … [Read more...]
What if I could have what I wanted
What would tomorrow bring if life could be the way we want it. First, Mari would be here. She would never have gotten sick to begin with. She would have stayed perfectly healthy. She would be laughing, and playing, and simply being Mari. She would watch one of her favorite shows or one of her favorite movies and then start to flap her arms in excitement because she is just so darn excited she doesn’t know what to do with herself. She would still be here to let us know when she is hungry … [Read more...]
4 Months…
It’s been 4 months since the loss of our beloved baby girl. 4 MONTHS!!! How can that be? It does not seem possible that just 4 short months ago we had made a decision to permanently take our daughter off of life support and let her go. Who would have ever thought that something in this life could ever be THIS hard. No one can ever imagine what it is like because we are not capable. As parents, it would drive us nuts. It would hurt everyday over something that probably will never even happen to … [Read more...]
Loneliness, how it must feel
The loneliness I feel is like nothing else I have ever experience in my life. It does not matter what I do or who I talk to it is always there. There are times when I can keep myself busy enough not to have to think about the true loneliness I feel but it always comes back. I sit here in my house all alone. I have my puppy sitting on my lap because he does not like to be alone. I have my kitten at my feet because he does not like to be alone. I am glad I have them because they at least keep … [Read more...]
Mari’s World – Can You Just Imagine
Today is a day without our baby girl. It seems like just yesterday that she went to be in heaven. It seem like I just said good bye. I remember that last day with longing before she went to the doctor. I felt so inconvenienced when the school called to tell me that she had a diarrhea. I felt they were making a big deal out of nothing. Who would have ever thought that what seemed like a day of inconvenience at the time would be a day I would take back in a heartbeat. Who would ever have thought … [Read more...]
Memories…
The Memories, they run so deep. They are so dear. What would we do in this life if we didn’t have the memories of those that we loved and then lost. I think we would be lost. There would be this black hole that would just suck us in. But then again, if we didn’t have memories, there would nothing to be missed. We would never understand or know what we were missing. The memories we have are so bitter sweet. We know that without the memories it might be easier. We know without the memories we … [Read more...]
Mommy’s Dream
I once had a dream I had written down about Mari, my beloved little angel. I wrote this as a movie clip of what I envision Mari's Wedding Day could one day be like. No, she was not like a typical child and this dream probably would never have come true but I knew that one day the home business I had would be able to help me at least give Mari all the best care and education I could. We all know that Mari's time was cut extremely short but here is the dream I had for my little angel... We are … [Read more...]
What does the word Mariana mean?
M is for the Most loved little girl you could meet. M is for Mischievous as she climbs out the window to go dancing in the street or to climb on the roof to dance her little heart out. M is for Meaningful in showing us what life is really supposed to be all about. M is for Magical for that sparkle she seemed to always have in her eyes. M is for Ming Ming, a character from one her favorite shows the Wonder Pets. M is for Map from Dora the Explorer as you can hear her singing, “I’m the Map, … [Read more...]
Tomorrow…
Will tomorrow ever come? It feels as though it is far off in the distance. If tomorrow were to come there might be peace that could come to my heart. But tomorrow never comes. Tomorrow is only in my dreams. Tomorrow has sunshine. Tomorrow has the sun shining brightly and the Angel looking down on me. Tomorrow seems like a mystical creature of another world. The reality is if tomorrow were here I would not feel this ache in the bottom of my stomach. If tomorrow were here I would not feel this … [Read more...]
