I sit on our flight to Hawaii and think about our beloved baby girl Mari who left us in July to go to heaven before her time. I know some people will say that it must have been her time because she is gone. In my heart, and my soul, and my mind it was not yet her time. Her time would have been after daddy and mommy were gone and not a day before. Daddy and I are going to Hawaii today because of a dear, loving uncle of mine who gave to us hotel accommodations for a one bedroom condo for 11 days … [Read more...]
Mari’s Song
I wrote this the other day while sitting on our flight from Chicago to Honolulu. I wrote this song to the melody of this song: I love you Lord And I lift my voice To worship you Oh my soul rejoice Take joy my King In what You hear May it be a sweet, sweet voice In Your ear This is my song to Mari called "I Love You Mari": I love you Mari And I sing to you I miss you now And forever more Take joy my daughter In all that you do May our love show you That you are our everything To love you … [Read more...]
A Poem to Mari
This is my very first poem I have ever written. I know it is not like some of the great poetry out there today by some of the greats but it is from the bottom of my heart and in complete dedication to my beautiful baby girl. I love you sweetie and miss you very much. When I lie awake at night All I do is think of you as my guiding light You helped me to see That my life became complete because of thee To have known you Is to have loved you And to have loved you Is to miss you I can envision … [Read more...]
Praise You In This Storm
Casting Crowns is one of my favorite groups if not my favorite. What I like about this group is their words. They are not afraid to tell it like it is. When my daughter passed away this past summer I had someone from our church sing this song. It was how we closed out her funeral service. This song says so much as to how Keith and I are feeling right now and will probably feel for some time to come. I hope these words mean as much to you as they have for us. I have also include a video I found … [Read more...]
A Dedication to Mariana
This video is a dedication to our daughter Mariana. It was created by a friend and it was played at her wake and before her funeral started. I wanted to share it with everyone because of how much it meant to Keith and I and our family. Please let us know what you think. … [Read more...]
A tribute from a very special teacher
This tribute was written by a very special teacher. She was not Mari's first teacher but she was the first teacher to truly help my daughter like no other teacher had. Her name is Julie Ahlbach. Before Mari came to her classroom I don't believe she had a lot of experience with children who had autism, let alone as severe as my daughter’s was. I was always the advocate for Mari and I fought to get my daughter into an all day program before most children were aloud to. Mari's teacher before Julie … [Read more...]
What if I could have what I wanted
What would tomorrow bring if life could be the way we want it. First, Mari would be here. She would never have gotten sick to begin with. She would have stayed perfectly healthy. She would be laughing, and playing, and simply being Mari. She would watch one of her favorite shows or one of her favorite movies and then start to flap her arms in excitement because she is just so darn excited she doesn’t know what to do with herself. She would still be here to let us know when she is hungry … [Read more...]
4 Months…
It’s been 4 months since the loss of our beloved baby girl. 4 MONTHS!!! How can that be? It does not seem possible that just 4 short months ago we had made a decision to permanently take our daughter off of life support and let her go. Who would have ever thought that something in this life could ever be THIS hard. No one can ever imagine what it is like because we are not capable. As parents, it would drive us nuts. It would hurt everyday over something that probably will never even happen to … [Read more...]
Mari’s Spirit
I sit here looking at Mari’s picture. I see her school picture from last October. It has only been a little over a year since her last fall school picture. I still have most of our pictures that had been up on the wall in our other house still in boxes from the move but her school picture that was taken on the Wednesday before Easter this past year is in there too. Just think, right now it is like she is still growing up. They are recent. They still seem new. Yet think about how it will be in 5 … [Read more...]
My Thoughts
Recently I was approached and asked if I would like to put my feelings and thoughts about Mari into words here on this blog. I guess the best place to start is at the beginning. Mari's mother and I met over 2 yrs ago and created an instant bond because my son Brian (who is 9 now) has autism also. So as our friendship grew we would rely on each other for support by comparing our experiences no matter what time of day or night regardless of the different time zones. You see I live here in … [Read more...]
