I am asking for everyone's help. I have rewritten a poem that is a dedication to Mari. If everyone could please read it and give me your comments, I would appreciate it more than you know. I have also put "T'was the Night Before Christmas" below my poem so you can put them side by side. My hope is that you feel my poem matches up with this poem. Thanks in advance for everyone's help with this. Kristena T’was the night before our lives changed, forever in our house, No one could have known, … [Read more...]
To The Love Of My Life – married 15 years February 18
To the man I love You are my partner, my friend You are the one I choose to not live my life without You have become my everything I don’t know exactly when this happened But you are why I am here today You have shown me what patience looks like You have shown me what true unconditional love really is You have shown me that God really does work in mysterious ways Mari is gone and you are here We are here We are there for each other in both the good days and the bad When trouble comes you have … [Read more...]
Music of the Heart
I was not sure if I could handle going back to church this morning. I have tried two times since Mari passed. Each time I could not make it through. I sit here writing this as those around me are singing. Singing was one of the things I used to love to do in church. It meant so much to me and I put my heart and soul into it. I just can’t seem to do that. Singing has always meant so much to me. In my high school youth group is where I was introduced to contemporary Christian songs. I am so … [Read more...]
Mari’s Crayons
I sit here in church today just hoping I will make it through. I found Mari’s crayons she used to color with in my Bible bag this morning. The bag was on the very top shelf of our bedroom closet. Just imagine, it was as if there were dust atop the bag as it had been up on that shelf since we moved into our home in September. I went through the bag just to make sure of what was in there. There they sat; her crayons. When we used to go to church with Mari in tow, this is partly how we could keep … [Read more...]
8 Months Have Come and Gone
I sit here contemplating what my life is going to be like without Mariana. It has been 8 months since she passed. Then you are probably thinking, “Well, if it has been 8 months, shouldn’t she already know?” I can tell you first hand that I still don’t know. Eight months ago tomorrow my daughter was still here with us. Eight and half months ago she was still singing, and dancing, and being the bright and shining star we all know and love. Yet now that star is not shining and bright. It has been … [Read more...]
Can Two People Really Grieve That Differently?
How can two people who love each other so much grieve in such utterly different ways. I don’t think there is a person on the planet who doesn’t know that men are different than women. This is why the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus was written and the game was created. It is to try to help all of us understand the opposite sex. Personally, I have never read the book but I can just imagine what it says. Tonight I went outside to gather up more firewood from our backyard. I started … [Read more...]
Preacakes
It is Saturday morning and I have just woken up. Daddy is still sleeping beside me as he has had a long week at work in the recruiting office. They usually are. It is about 10:15 in the morning. I have awoken to the sound of our eight year old little angel singing her heart out through the monitor. She is singing one of her very favorite song, “Rescue pack, comin’ to the rescue …” It is from one of her favorite shows Diego, the Animal Rescuer. I lay in bed awhile longer trying to just rest … [Read more...]
Thoughts…
I have a friend from my high school youth group that has a blog. I have her blog listed in my "Blogroll". She wrote something on December 3, 2008 that I felt was really profound and I made a comment on her blog. I hope she does not mind but I not only wanted to share what she wrote but I thought those that read my posts might want to read the comment I had made. This is the link to her post: http://hvoeltner.wordpress.com/2008/12/03/thoughts/ And this is what her post said: Wow, as I sit … [Read more...]
Remembering Mari, how sweet it really is!!
I sit here today actually feeling ok for the moment. It seems like most days are either ok or they are just sad and lonely. I was sitting here in my house yesterday and feeling utterly lonely. I was looking at Mari’s photos up on my mantel for her dedication wall. I sat here on my couch taking a break from my new website I have been trying to get up and running and was just looking. I thought about how it feels like just yesterday she was here. It feels like sometimes that she should be … [Read more...]
Suddenly and Out of the Blue, It Hits You
Tonight happens to be a hard night for me. It just literally came out the blue. Today seemed to be going fine. I have been working on my new website I hope to have up and running within the next month. I was watching my third movie for the day. All of the movies I watched today have been all happy, feel good movies. Keith and I were having a DiGiorno Garlic Bread Pepperoni pizza. I had just taken it out of the oven. And then I started thinking about when we lived in the house just previous … [Read more...]
