This video is a dedication to our daughter Mariana. It was created by a friend and it was played at her wake and before her funeral started. I wanted to share it with everyone because of how much it meant to Keith and I and our family. Please let us know what you think. … [Read more...]
A tribute from a very special teacher
This tribute was written by a very special teacher. She was not Mari's first teacher but she was the first teacher to truly help my daughter like no other teacher had. Her name is Julie Ahlbach. Before Mari came to her classroom I don't believe she had a lot of experience with children who had autism, let alone as severe as my daughter’s was. I was always the advocate for Mari and I fought to get my daughter into an all day program before most children were aloud to. Mari's teacher before Julie … [Read more...]
Letter from Heaven
This poem was first introduced to me by a friend. He created the dedication video of Mari's pictures that were put to music and then at the end he had a neat surprise for us. He had his daughter say this poem at the end of the show with Mari's' picture there. His daughter was going to read the poem at her funeral but it was just too hard for her to do because the reality was a little girl about her age had died and just too much for her. So her daddy read the poem. This poem meant so much to me … [Read more...]
What if I could have what I wanted
What would tomorrow bring if life could be the way we want it. First, Mari would be here. She would never have gotten sick to begin with. She would have stayed perfectly healthy. She would be laughing, and playing, and simply being Mari. She would watch one of her favorite shows or one of her favorite movies and then start to flap her arms in excitement because she is just so darn excited she doesn’t know what to do with herself. She would still be here to let us know when she is hungry … [Read more...]
The holidays…
Everyone talks about how the holidays are so hard that first year. I can honestly say that you just do not even look forward to them what so ever. Thanksgiving is literally right around the corner; only three days away. When I think of Thanksgiving I always think about how you are supposed to be thankful for what has happened in your life in the last year. I am sure there are things that I should be thankful for in the last year but they are so overshadowed by the obvious. How can I be … [Read more...]
True Friendship
It amazes me how you find out who your true friends really are. While she was in the hospital we asked people to pray for Mari to get better. And from there it became a snowball effect. We had people praying for her and us all across the country. I would not be surprised at all if there were over a half a million people who were praying for Mari and Keith and I during this time. When Mari died there were tons of people who were there to support Keith and me. Anyone from family, to close … [Read more...]
4 Months…
It’s been 4 months since the loss of our beloved baby girl. 4 MONTHS!!! How can that be? It does not seem possible that just 4 short months ago we had made a decision to permanently take our daughter off of life support and let her go. Who would have ever thought that something in this life could ever be THIS hard. No one can ever imagine what it is like because we are not capable. As parents, it would drive us nuts. It would hurt everyday over something that probably will never even happen to … [Read more...]
Mari’s Spirit
I sit here looking at Mari’s picture. I see her school picture from last October. It has only been a little over a year since her last fall school picture. I still have most of our pictures that had been up on the wall in our other house still in boxes from the move but her school picture that was taken on the Wednesday before Easter this past year is in there too. Just think, right now it is like she is still growing up. They are recent. They still seem new. Yet think about how it will be in 5 … [Read more...]
My Thoughts
Recently I was approached and asked if I would like to put my feelings and thoughts about Mari into words here on this blog. I guess the best place to start is at the beginning. Mari's mother and I met over 2 yrs ago and created an instant bond because my son Brian (who is 9 now) has autism also. So as our friendship grew we would rely on each other for support by comparing our experiences no matter what time of day or night regardless of the different time zones. You see I live here in … [Read more...]
Loneliness, how it must feel
The loneliness I feel is like nothing else I have ever experience in my life. It does not matter what I do or who I talk to it is always there. There are times when I can keep myself busy enough not to have to think about the true loneliness I feel but it always comes back. I sit here in my house all alone. I have my puppy sitting on my lap because he does not like to be alone. I have my kitten at my feet because he does not like to be alone. I am glad I have them because they at least keep … [Read more...]
