To write truthfully sometimes we have to write things we may not want others to know but are important to be true to who we are as a writer. When I think about this it kind nails me to the wall. My past isn't pretty. And it's not from anything bad I've done personally, but instead what has been done to me as a child. I think of my mom and every thing she went through as a child. My Granny and Grandpa partly raised me as a child. However, how they were with me was completely different than … [Read more...]
O is for open, as Mari was always open to try new things.
I have to laugh. Mari would be the one where nothing would stop her from trying something new. However, most of us would think twice before doing so. Even then it could take us several more times and then we don't go through with it. There could be several reasons why. The bottom line is we stop to think about it. This is where Mari was on the more unique side because that's just it - she didn't think. She just did. Now I'm not saying this was always the smartest choice (hence dancing on the … [Read more...]
Day 71: Being Your Own Shrink
I have to share this quote with you. "You have to have done that hard psychological work before you sit down to write." —MARY KARR This is one of those 'awe-ha' moments. Ever since I can remember I had never understood why God would allow, in His loving giving Self, the terrible abuses and neglect that happened to me throughout my childhood. As I entered high school, my sophomore year we attended a church a couple of times. It wasn't till the following summer I was able to get a ride to … [Read more...]
N is for night
As Mari could play through the night (if we allowed her :) ) . Nighttime. Mari is the complete night-owl. It didn't matter what time we put her to bed. She never went to sleep right away. We kind of had a nightly ritual that we followed with her. First we would sing the made up song her teacher in DeKalb taught us. It went like this: "Toys away. Toys away. It's time to put our toys away." We would repeat that several times until everything was cleaned up. Then it was time to get her … [Read more...]
L is for Loving
Because loving Mari was, and still is, so easy to do. When you are pregnant with your first child everyone tells you that the moment your baby is born you will be filled with so much love that there are no words to describe the amount of love that fills your heart to capacity to the point of even spilling over. You question how can that possibly happen. There are no answers that can describe it. It just does. I remember shopping in Wal-Mart one day with my mother-in-law and she told me … [Read more...]
Day 68: Making Use of Fear
In life there are so many things we can be fearful of. Some seem irrational like small spaces, loud noises like fireworks shows, or even the little itty-bitty spiders that to some say, "it's more afraid of you than you of it." I think my granny (noises) and my mom (spiders) would beg to differ. When it comes to writing, fear can grind us to a halt. We are afraid of what some might say about our writing. Or we won't ever find an agent or publisher so why try. Or sometimes the strongest fears … [Read more...]
K is for Kindred Spirit
Because Mari's kindred spirit infiltrated every pore in our bodies. When I think of kindred spirits I always think of the Anne of Green Gables movies. Anne Shirley always talked about how her friends were her bosom friends and that they were kindred spirits. I think Mari was a kindred spirit and that is why she will always be so fondly remembered. For me, she's the one who organically or naturally through no selfish desire showed those around her what love is supposed to look like. So … [Read more...]
J is for joy
Because knowing Mari and seeing the joy she brought to so many people in their lives was priceless to watch. I think Mari was the quintessential meaning behind joy. I don't think there was a day in Mari's life where she wasn't happy. She could make the saddest person smile with her innocence and charm. Did Mari experience joy like the rest of us? No, she experienced joy in a more pure way. Hers didn't have ulterior motives. She had joy simply because she was happy. How many people can … [Read more...]
Day 63: Feast or Famine: Part 2
Have you ever sat down to your computer or your binder paper and suddenly you have nothing to write. In fact, this goes on for several days. Nothing is coming to you. This is what we writers hate to have happen: Writer's Block. Or the famine. For whatever reason, all of our ideas have dried up like a lake that goes through a severe drought and dries all up. We want to write. We've scheduled our time out and yet here we sit. This has happened with Mari's website for me. If you take a look … [Read more...]
C is for caring
When you learn that caring about someone else is more important than anything you could do for yourself. Sometimes it can be hard to put someone before ourselves. We are human and we are innately selfish. It takes a conscientious effort to put others before ourselves. But when a women gets pregnant, there is shift. We now have a growing little one we carry inside our bellies. Our focus shifts from ourselves to the little one. I remember the day I was walking through Wal-Mart with my … [Read more...]
