It seems that sitting in church, like I am now, seems to be a place where I feel I can open up so freely and easily. I am so grateful and excited to be going back to church and finding one that Keith and I feel at home with. I know that it is God who has been nudging our hearts to find a new church home. It just has been hard grieving as much as we have and having anger issues. But it feels good to be around fellow believers as we are now. I think now I am going to seek out another woman … [Read more...]
Seeing Mari again
I want to share a passage of the Bible that was recently shown to me: 2 Samuel 12:15-23 15 After Nathan had gone home, the LORD struck the child that Uriah’s wife had borne to David, and he became ill. 16 David pleaded with God for the child. He fasted and spent the nights lying in sackcloth[a] on the ground. 17 The elders of his household stood beside him to get him up from the ground, but he refused, and he would not eat any food with them. 18 On the seventh day the child died. … [Read more...]
Writing through tragedy
Recently things have been good. I have not been overly sad. I mean, I miss Mari but I am doing good. I sit here in church again. I am glad we have started going to church on a regular basis. It is important for the two of us and our marriage. My hope is it only makes us stronger and helps us to get through the loss of Mari. I know through God anything can happen. I know some people might say, “How could you believe in a God who would do this?” My response is God knows more than I … [Read more...]
Find a new church home
Well, yesterday was a good day. I had the day off so I spent most of the day typing the entries I write in my pink journal here at work. It felt good to finally get them typed up and posted on Mari’s website. Now that her b-day has come and gone, it is easier again. I am grateful for this. We went to try out a new church on Sunday. We have not gone to church since we moved here at the end of April last year. I know I started to feel a tug to start looking in the past couple of months … [Read more...]
Singing…
January 2 I sit here in church service. Right away they start by singing. The tears start to well up and I have to leave. I still have a hard time just being able to sing in church. It is so hard for me. Somehow it just makes me miss Mari all the more. She would always love the singing portion of church service. She would sing in her own special way. She would sometimes flap her arms in excitement. She truly loved the singing. I think I just truly miss that with her not here … [Read more...]
The magic of love
December 14, 2010 Love. Love has its own special magic. When all else fails, you still have love. There are some people who have not been lucky enough to truly experience the love you receive from your life partner. I feel like I am one of the lucky ones. I met Keith when I was only 19 years old. Our first impression of one another was, let’s just say, not that great. So it wasn’t love at first sight. Personally, I have never experienced that but sometimes you just don’t need … [Read more...]
Playing Games
December 7, 2010 Can you imagine loving to play a game so much that you allow yourself to stay up later than you should because you have to go to work the next day. Well, Keith and I both love playing the same game and we stay up way too late. Last night was another one of those nights. We finally got to bed about 11:30pm. Then we sat talking for a few minutes. I think we both finally headed off to never-never land around midnight. This morning when I woke up I was more tired than I … [Read more...]
Work at Walmart
(It looks like this was written around end of October) I have been working at Walmart now for the past 2 months. When asked, “Is it what you expected?” I’m not sure if I know what to expect exactly. I mean, I know I would be on my feet the majority of the time (I mean it is Walmart after all). But as for what I expected, I really did not have a lot of expectations. I know that starting off on the graveyard shift would be a drastic change since I have never worked that shift before. Not … [Read more...]
An update…
I wanted to give everyone an update. After only being at WalMart for 3 weeks and working the lovely graveyard shift, I was interviewed for a new position and promoted to a Department Manager. I officially started the new position about 3 1/2 weeks ago and love it. It is right up my ally. As my hubby would say, it fits right into how I like being anally organized. It is a lot of fun and I still very exhausted at the end of the day as I have been on my feet for eight hours. The other great … [Read more...]
Tangible Things
The only thing tangible left are pictures (and a couple of videos) taken of Mari from the time she was born until the day she died (literally). We have them of her while she was in the hospital when she was first born and we have them of her in the hospital when she was dying. It’s almost like it represents the cycle of life everyone goes through. We all are born and we all must die someday when our time is up on this earth. But with Mari, her time just seemed so short. It seems like that … [Read more...]
