I sit here today actually feeling ok for the moment. It seems like most days are either ok or they are just sad and lonely. I was sitting here in my house yesterday and feeling utterly lonely. I was looking at Mari’s photos up on my mantel for her dedication wall. I sat here on my couch taking a break from my new website I have been trying to get up and running and was just looking. I thought about how it feels like just yesterday she was here. It feels like sometimes that she should be … [Read more...]
Suddenly and Out of the Blue, It Hits You
Tonight happens to be a hard night for me. It just literally came out the blue. Today seemed to be going fine. I have been working on my new website I hope to have up and running within the next month. I was watching my third movie for the day. All of the movies I watched today have been all happy, feel good movies. Keith and I were having a DiGiorno Garlic Bread Pepperoni pizza. I had just taken it out of the oven. And then I started thinking about when we lived in the house just previous … [Read more...]
Sitting Here Dazed and Confused
I sit here in a complete and utter daze right now. To think that it has been 6 months seems so overwhelming in the scope of things. I have gotten pretty bad about checking my mail. My husband went and got the mail from the mailbox today and brought in a huge stack. In that stack was a big manila envelope. It was from Mari’s teacher that she had from February 15, 2005 until December, 2007 right before Christmas break. Because I fought so hard for my precious baby girl I was able to get her into … [Read more...]
Thank you for reading and listening…
Today was a day of contemplation. I have been going to school on and office since 1995. I have slowly but surely been trying to obtain a college degree. Sometimes I am seeking an associate degree and then others I just go straight for the gusto and try seeking a bachelor’s degree. At this point I have well over 90 credit hours but some are things I don’t need. I am literally two classes away from finally getting my associate degree in business and graduating in May 2009. So I am finally going to … [Read more...]
Went to see Movie, It’s wasn’t supposed to be sad
It seems like in life it does not matter what we do or what we say, we can always be reminded of what we don’t want to be reminded of at all. Keith and I went to see a movie last night. I wanted to see a comedy because I needed something to pick me up and help me to laugh. So we looked at the preview for “Marley and Me”. The previews they show for this movie are hilarious and I will tell you that most of the movie will keep you in stitches laughing. It is such a cute movie. I do not want to ruin … [Read more...]
Our Angel In Heaven
Our angel in heaven How quick she must be If you can imagine She flew like a bee As soon as she arrived In heaven that first day You can just imagine How she wanted to play Can you just see her Dancing and singing While everyone around her Is laughing and swinging The clouds are no match As she wanted to paint So she took out her markers Just like a saint The clouds are her canvas, I know it’s hard to imagine But somehow she did it Like no one could fathom She wrote out in marker Her … [Read more...]
T’was the Night Before Our Lives Changed
T’was the night before our lives changed, forever in our house, No one could have known, not even a mouse. For our hopes hung in the balance with all human care, In the hopes that our prayers would be answered right there. The people who loved her went off to their beds, While they laid there and slept or prayed in their heads. And daddy had his hope, and mommy had her fears, Because the next morning might bring about our tears. We arose the next morning to hear so much clatter, As … [Read more...]
Back from Hawaii
I sit here on our flight from Hawaii back to Chicago. It amazes me how quickly this past week and a half went by. We had Christmas in Hawaii. For the first time in my life I was not excited about the holiday so many people always love and cherish. For me, it is just a reminder of what I am missing and how much I miss her. I sit here on our flight just trying not to cry. The pain is so deep and still so fresh. I know it has been over 5 months yet it still feels like yesterday that we lost her. … [Read more...]
On our way to Hawaii
I sit on our flight to Hawaii and think about our beloved baby girl Mari who left us in July to go to heaven before her time. I know some people will say that it must have been her time because she is gone. In my heart, and my soul, and my mind it was not yet her time. Her time would have been after daddy and mommy were gone and not a day before. Daddy and I are going to Hawaii today because of a dear, loving uncle of mine who gave to us hotel accommodations for a one bedroom condo for 11 days … [Read more...]
Mari’s Song
I wrote this the other day while sitting on our flight from Chicago to Honolulu. I wrote this song to the melody of this song: I love you Lord And I lift my voice To worship you Oh my soul rejoice Take joy my King In what You hear May it be a sweet, sweet voice In Your ear This is my song to Mari called "I Love You Mari": I love you Mari And I sing to you I miss you now And forever more Take joy my daughter In all that you do May our love show you That you are our everything To love you … [Read more...]
