I sit here on our flight from Hawaii back to Chicago. It amazes me how quickly this past week and a half went by. We had Christmas in Hawaii. For the first time in my life I was not excited about the holiday so many people always love and cherish. For me, it is just a reminder of what I am missing and how much I miss her. I sit here on our flight just trying not to cry. The pain is so deep and still so fresh. I know it has been over 5 months yet it still feels like yesterday that we lost her. … [Read more...]
Time and How Precious It Really Is
I think about how time can be more precious than most really think about or even care to think about. Because if we think about how precious time really is we then begin to realize that it is not infinite. We only have a limited amount of time, each and everyone of us, here on this earth. When our time is up, it is up. There is no amount of begging or pleading that can keep us here or those that we love. I can remember sitting in the hospital at the beginning of her getting sick and just … [Read more...]
On our way to Hawaii
I sit on our flight to Hawaii and think about our beloved baby girl Mari who left us in July to go to heaven before her time. I know some people will say that it must have been her time because she is gone. In my heart, and my soul, and my mind it was not yet her time. Her time would have been after daddy and mommy were gone and not a day before. Daddy and I are going to Hawaii today because of a dear, loving uncle of mine who gave to us hotel accommodations for a one bedroom condo for 11 days … [Read more...]
A Poem to Mari
This is my very first poem I have ever written. I know it is not like some of the great poetry out there today by some of the greats but it is from the bottom of my heart and in complete dedication to my beautiful baby girl. I love you sweetie and miss you very much. When I lie awake at night All I do is think of you as my guiding light You helped me to see That my life became complete because of thee To have known you Is to have loved you And to have loved you Is to miss you I can envision … [Read more...]
Praise You In This Storm
Casting Crowns is one of my favorite groups if not my favorite. What I like about this group is their words. They are not afraid to tell it like it is. When my daughter passed away this past summer I had someone from our church sing this song. It was how we closed out her funeral service. This song says so much as to how Keith and I are feeling right now and will probably feel for some time to come. I hope these words mean as much to you as they have for us. I have also include a video I found … [Read more...]
A Dedication to Mariana
This video is a dedication to our daughter Mariana. It was created by a friend and it was played at her wake and before her funeral started. I wanted to share it with everyone because of how much it meant to Keith and I and our family. Please let us know what you think. … [Read more...]
A tribute from a very special teacher
This tribute was written by a very special teacher. She was not Mari's first teacher but she was the first teacher to truly help my daughter like no other teacher had. Her name is Julie Ahlbach. Before Mari came to her classroom I don't believe she had a lot of experience with children who had autism, let alone as severe as my daughter’s was. I was always the advocate for Mari and I fought to get my daughter into an all day program before most children were aloud to. Mari's teacher before Julie … [Read more...]
Letter from Heaven
This poem was first introduced to me by a friend. He created the dedication video of Mari's pictures that were put to music and then at the end he had a neat surprise for us. He had his daughter say this poem at the end of the show with Mari's' picture there. His daughter was going to read the poem at her funeral but it was just too hard for her to do because the reality was a little girl about her age had died and just too much for her. So her daddy read the poem. This poem meant so much to me … [Read more...]
What if I could have what I wanted
What would tomorrow bring if life could be the way we want it. First, Mari would be here. She would never have gotten sick to begin with. She would have stayed perfectly healthy. She would be laughing, and playing, and simply being Mari. She would watch one of her favorite shows or one of her favorite movies and then start to flap her arms in excitement because she is just so darn excited she doesn’t know what to do with herself. She would still be here to let us know when she is hungry … [Read more...]
Today…
Today is a day I have been dreading Today is a day that sucks Today is a day that I wish had never come Today is just hard Today is just painful Today makes me think too much Today makes me relive the past I wish I could go back somehow I wish I could go back any way possible I wish there was a time machine to take me back I wish there was a way I just simply wish Today is a day that makes me sad Today is a day that makes me cry Today is a day that brings deep sorrow Today is … [Read more...]
