I sit here at work on my lunch thinking about my upcoming afternoon. I am anxious because of what I must do. I have an appointment at 3pm with a security investigator to get my security clearance. I have to get this for the tentative job I was offered as a government service worker on Fort Knox as a GS-5. I am excited about the new job because I will get to be an administrative assistant again and I will get to quit Wal-Mart. I have been a department manager at Wal-Mart for the past 6 … [Read more...]
Mari’s Book is Done
Mari book is finally done, or at least written I should say. Now starts the editing process. It seems I could go through the book 100 times and find something wrong each and every time. However, to have it really edited so it a great book, I know I need to go to a professional editor to have that done. So I went searching singing all the way, “A searching we will go, a searching we will go, hi ho the search-e-o, a searching we will go.” I did a Google search and ended up coming across … [Read more...]
I’m still amazed…
I am still amazed sometimes when someone tells me they think I am a good writer. I have never thought of myself in this light. To be honest, the only time I have written anything before in the past were for 2 reasons and 2 reasons only: an assignment/paper for school/college or writing in my diary. That was it. I never wrote stories or anything. Then Mari gets sick and I write out for all of our friends and family updates on her progress. Then she dies. I purchase a special journal to … [Read more...]
Super Bowl Sunday
I sit here watching the Super Bowl where the Steelers and Packers are playing each other. Keith and I are at a friend’s house just enjoying each other’s company. It’s nice instead of just being at home. I sit here thinking about how this little pink journal I bring with me almost everywhere has become quite a companion for me. I am able to write down my thoughts that might otherwise be lost forever. It’s nice to know I have this. Some people think this is my personal diary. I tell … [Read more...]
Grateful for the little things in life
It seems that sitting in church, like I am now, seems to be a place where I feel I can open up so freely and easily. I am so grateful and excited to be going back to church and finding one that Keith and I feel at home with. I know that it is God who has been nudging our hearts to find a new church home. It just has been hard grieving as much as we have and having anger issues. But it feels good to be around fellow believers as we are now. I think now I am going to seek out another woman … [Read more...]
Rules aren’t meant to be followed right?!?!
I just love it when people completely disregard the rules. NOT! Keith and I live here in Kentucky. He is stationed at Fort Knox. It is pretty chilly outside right now with our highs around 20 to 30 degrees and the wind chills even colder. You’ve got to love it when things are below freezing (not really lol). Well, most of you know I work at Walmart by now. Many of you may not know, however, that I have pretty bad asthma and unfortunately for me, my lungs happen to be super sensitive … [Read more...]
Find a new church home
Well, yesterday was a good day. I had the day off so I spent most of the day typing the entries I write in my pink journal here at work. It felt good to finally get them typed up and posted on Mari’s website. Now that her b-day has come and gone, it is easier again. I am grateful for this. We went to try out a new church on Sunday. We have not gone to church since we moved here at the end of April last year. I know I started to feel a tug to start looking in the past couple of months … [Read more...]
Singing…
January 2 I sit here in church service. Right away they start by singing. The tears start to well up and I have to leave. I still have a hard time just being able to sing in church. It is so hard for me. Somehow it just makes me miss Mari all the more. She would always love the singing portion of church service. She would sing in her own special way. She would sometimes flap her arms in excitement. She truly loved the singing. I think I just truly miss that with her not here … [Read more...]
Justin Bieber
December 22 Today ended up starting as a good day. I felt good about it. I went to work like I normally do. I was putting away my freight and I had these Justin Bieber backpacks I was putting out. As I am putting them out I start to think of my dearest friend Shelly’s daughter Lexi. Shelly tells me how much Lexi loves Justin Bieber. Then I got to thinking about how Mari would be the same age as Lexi. Not that Mari would have ever gotten into Just Bieber or anything. It’s just the … [Read more...]
Missing her…
December 6, 2010 Missing Mari, what does that really mean anyway? It means you think about her. For me it means all the time. I don’t know if I’ve had a day without thinking about her at least once. Of course as we get closer to her 11th birthday, it seems more and more often. Thinking about her leads to missing her. Missing her leads to the ache I feel in my heart. In the end, this leads to wishing she was here. Everyone says she is in a better place. Even Keith thinks this as … [Read more...]
